Voluptuously Yours,

Solipsistically After

Hands skimming her naked back, Dawn feels his breath fanning behind her ears.

Her palm flattened on the blanket, close to her face. She rubs her lips with her thumb nervously.

They haven't said a word after.

At first, Dawn had remained motionless. When he moved to spoon her, his hands coming to rest upon her chest. Clutching her breasts, she tried to relax.

Slowly, she did.

In her mind, she was chanting a mantra in her head. Don't expect anything. Don't. Expect. Anything.

She wasn't. She so wasn't.

If Richard wanted this casual, she'd keep it. She can have sex with this man without feeling all these terrifying emotions. It's no problem.

They sky was still dark. The cicadas singing in the grasses. The ominous silence louder than before.

His grip on her tightening, his hair on his chest ticking her back. Those sweet caresses of his exhalations and the rush of nectar rose planning around her.

Could I really be casual?

Wind had picked up, and she shivered.

Dawn turned around, saw he had propped his head up on one hand. Watching her.

She sucked in a breath. "What?"

"I took you without a condom." At his steady and serious gaze at her, Dawn thought he was upset and now riddled with unwanted tension that there could be a prospect of a child.

She shook her head, "It's okay, I'm on the pill."

He didn't say anything. After a while, he spoke.

"I have never done it without a condom before."

"How did you like it for your first time?" When the question poured out of her, Dawn tried to calm her racing heart.

"Fucking amazing." His smile shone his white perfect teeth.

It should have comforted her but now it made her anxious. Was he going to make his next harem go on the pill so he can have 'fucking amazing' sex?

Trying to keep the flow of conversation, she asked him. "Do you use condoms because of a pregnancy scare?"

Shut your mouth, Dawn! Her lack of filter was becoming worse than before.

Unknown to her turmoil, he answered her with ease. "I usually have the one-time flings, nothing serious and I don't want any unknown pathetic drama to rob me of my money and trying to live a lavish life funded by me."

When the breeze blew again, he noticed her trembling. His hand wounded down around her waist.

It tightened and then he whispered, "We should leave. It's getting late."

Makes sense. Makes sense, right? Yes, it does but not to Dawn.

His words stung her. She didn't know if she was talking about her or generally about all women. Did he think of her like that? That she was using him for his money, to get herself pregnant and make him marry her?

The shock and anger jilted her.

Men like him don't change. She thought of asking him for trying to maybe..what is wrong me? He already told her in his own way that he just did 'one-time things.'

They dressed and packed away the forgotten food, the spilled now empty bottle of cranberry juice.

As they walked back to the house, quietness and uneasiness surrounds them.