Voluptuously Yours,

Guiltily Yours

The window behind him was open, breeze exhaling in.

Richard fingered the pen as he sat on his black chair, looking at the blank paper.

It was Sunday close to evening. The wind hollowing behind him. He turned around, seeing only darkness.

The tick-tick of the clock above his head reverberated. The sounds of the crickets sharply buzzing outside.

The walls large, ceiling so high making him feel so small.

A tiny human being.

The emptiness of the house finally sits with him. He was in his personal oblivion.

He and Dawn made love twice after they got up. He had resisted to let her go but eventually relented her to take a shower and dress up for the exhibition tonight.

Lorenzo had returned with Robert and was pleased to hear of the news, they hugged them telling, how much he waited for this to happen.

Robert was quiet but he hugged his son tightly saying all is okay.

Nothing is okay.

He looked down at his own black formals, with a bow still untied hanging down his lapel. Everything was in its place.

Except this time his hair was like tousled waves. Unruly like an abyss misnaming in circles.

She told him about the promotion she got at her job and her profuse thanks to him for making it happen. She told him she wanted him to come with her as her plus one.

He smiled and kissed her, taking in her sweets sounds and said he wouldn't miss it for the world.

Her smile that she returned made his knee buckle.

I think I'm in love with her.

Then his eyes narrowed at the white rectangular paper.

His company is gone, his hard work all down into the drains. How strange the way everything works out.

Fighting and fighting only to have it knocked away from your hands. He felt like he was a new born infant, seeing the world with new eyes.

Except it was not all that bright.

A man even like him didn't have the power to break away from that anguish which started to build in him. Rampaging him into a vortex of numbness.

His mind went blank.

His eyes dazed up with hazy tears. He had lost everything.

His beautiful Dawn would do well in her life, she had the talent and the eyes for details. He had made her see the world in the most vicious way possible.

He was already in love with her.

But is that ever enough?

What about his own life? It's uprooted and flung into the depths of decay and desolation. His eyes blinked back at how rapidly he was losing himself.

His grip on everything was dissipating.

The office door opened, revealing Dawn.

She wore a dazzling blue dress with a sweetheart neckline. Her hair tied in a beautiful intricate long braid with a tendril falling down her eyes.

Her sapphire eyes were bright with joy.

He wished he could share her mirth. He hadn't told Dawn anything. Nothing about his resignation because- he couldn't...

The mortification was too much for him to handle.

He stood up, striding towards her. Twirling the ringlet of her hair, she gazes up to him and her eyes twinge in worry.

Her hand came up, caressing his now clean shaven jaw. "What's wrong?"

The smell of rose wafted in her nostrils, she inhaled him.

He had told her earlier, on impulse. Save me.

He couldn't be saved now. His senses for gripping the world around was already slipping and morphing into nothingness.

Instead, he smiled a perfect smile. A smile he practiced. A smile no one knew the meaning behind it but himself.

"You are so breathtaking." He kissed her lips in softness and gently, languidly making her clasp his arms.

"You are scaring me, Richard." She breathed out the words.

Something was wrong. Dawn could sniff it in the air. Her stomach pulled and her senses acute.

She had a premonition.

"You don't have to be anymore. I'm yours forever." She couldn't let a word out because he kissed her again. Like a drug she accepted it.

Tongues stroking, heart beating. "You remember that, okay?"

Why is he talking like this? She held his face in her two hands, not letting him turn away.
"Tell me what's wrong. Let me help you."

It's like he didn't listen. He just continued and said, "You are so strong. So fierce. So passionate. I have never met a woman like you. Never will."

His coaxing words made her relax but her heart was beating wildly.

Her hands pressed upon his chest, he whispered, "I'll meet you outside."

She nodded and his hands clutched her hands to his heart. Kissing the palms, their fingers left each other, tips last time meeting.

She moved out, closing the door behind her with one long look.

Richard moved in a trance.

He couldn't wake up. His body leaned over the desk and picked up the pen. After scribbling down on the paper finally, he threw the pen down.

His hands moved in synchronization, and reached for the last locked drawer of the table.
Unlocking it, a shiny metal pistol revealed.

Taking it out, he said to himself, "I need an escape. I need to be free."

He needed to free himself and at the same time a ringing in his head brought out his father's voice bellowing, "Son, you are a coward! A coward!"

Around him his office disintegrated and his mother's voice like silent night whispered, "Love yourself. Think about yourself. Come back to your mother."

He was in a miasma. Echoes of humiliations, insults biting around him.

The snotty tone of people telling him he couldn't amount to anything.

The board of directors smirking at him, telling him, "we wanted to sell your company. Throw you out on the streets."

Images of Dawn doing well and in hands of someone else. Someone who was not him.

His mind twirling whispering his darkest secrets. "You were nothing! You have gone back to where you are. You have failed again. This time only the failure is greater and larger than you ever will be. You have lost."

Lost.

Lost.

Lost.

His words mumbled in weakness, "Lost."

His switch had gone off. Nothing could save him.

Taking the gun, he placed it inside his mouth. His eyes closed and for the first time, peace and relaxation breathed in him.

The wind wafted around him and he smiled, "I'm going home."

Just as the sharp and loud sound propagates, the wind picks up and roars, gushing him out so loud and the darkness falls and quenches the light forever.