𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐬 • 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

12. Broken Boys

: Slight Mature Warning :

A couple months had past since YYeosang and Seonghwa had their kiss in the janitors closet, and they've had many kisses since. They'd never gone on any dates, they called their time together "Hangouts", and they sure did have a lot of these hangouts.

Any time one of them wanted kisses, they'd go hide away since they weren't dating officially and their relationship was still very much a secret.

Today's hangout was at Yeosang's house and currently he was lying on his back on his bed, Seonghwa at his side. Yeosang had his hands on Seonghwa's chest and the older was kissing him softly and stroking Yeosang cheek with his thumb, he was never one to be rough.

All the while as Seonghwa was kissing him, doing his best to please Yeosang and thinking only of Yeosang, Yeosang's mind was thinking about someone else.

Yeosang had let his mind wander to Yunho. Those were Yunho's lips not Seonghwa's, that was Yunho's hand not Seonghwa's.

Yeosang was deep in his fantasies and he barely noticed Seonghwa's hand slowly slipping down his neck, across his chest, down his abdomen and then over his cock.

Seonghwa's hand squeezed Yeosang gently through the fabric of his shorts and Yeosang began to moan. This was nothing new, he'd let Seonghwa do this to him a couple of times now.

Yeosang knew he should tell Seonghwa to stop. He always stopped Seonghwa before things went too far, but this time he allowed Seonghwa to keep going.

This time he let Seonghwa slip his hand beneath the waistband of his shorts.

It didn't even register that Seonghwa's hand had traveled somewhere it never had before, Yeosang was simply just happy and enjoying what he was feeling.

Seonghwa wrapped his hand around Yeosang's length, the contact of skin allowing Seonghwa to work Yeosang harder than he'd ever done since they started this new chapter in their strange relationship. Everything was heightened now that the fabric of his shorts and boxers weren't in the way.

Seonghwa gripped him, pulled and stroked him, mesmerizing Yeosang with tender hands.

Eventually Yeosang needed to release and although it was gross and he was going to regret it later he let himself go without warning, within his shorts and all over Seonghwa's hand, and as he did he moaned a single name:

"Yunho!"

Seonghwa jerked back immediately his hand ripping out of Yeosang's shorts.

"Y-yunho?" Seonghwa had stuttered as he sat up searching Yeosang's eyes pleading with his gaze that maybe he had heard wrong.

"Sorry" Yeosang said through a whisper not even attempting to deny it.

Yeosang knew he wasn't with Seonghwa for the right reasons, and although he loved how Seonghwa made him feel Yeosang knew that he was building their relationship on a foundation of lies.

After each and every time Yeosang spent with Seonghwa he always felt guilty. Guilty because he was thinking of Yunho, Guilty because he wasn't respecting Seonghwa, Guilty because he knew Seonghwa liked him and when it came down to it he was just messing with the olders feelings.

Yeosang couldn't say anything more and averted his gaze in shame.

His silence was what broke Seonghwa's heart.

What they had needed to stop and Yeosang's slip up gave him the opportunity to let Seonghwa go so he could find the happiness he truly deserved.

Yeosang had always wanted Yunho to be happy, but for a very long time, maybe since that very first time he saved Seonghwa, he'd wanted that for the older too.

It hurt hearing Seonghwa cry, seeing the tears stream down his face, and it hurt even more when Seonghwa had slapped him hard across the face, stormed out of his bedroom and slammed the door shut before promptly leaving the house.

Yeosang knew he deserved the stinging pain on his cheek and chill he felt at the ear shattering slam of the door; he'd been a horrible person.

Yeosang didn't go after Seonghwa. Seonghwa didn't deserve to be treated the way Yeosang had been treating him. As just a distraction and a toy to fulfil his fantasies over another boy.

Yeosang felt no better than the dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe. He felt like an unfinished piece of fruit left to rot on the pavement on a hot summers day. He felt like the scum of the earth because of what he'd done and how he'd played the person he had come to call his best friend.

What hurt Yeosang most was after the incident had happened he realised just how much he loved the older boys company, and how much he had taken their time and friendship for granted.

Yunho had always been Yeosang crush, and yes he loved him deeply, but in all honesty he hadn't been his true best friend in a long time and that love had slipped away and turned instead to lust long ago.

Yeosang's and Yunho's friendship had drifted when they had parted ways at the end of year 6 and gone to different high schools, and although they still saw each other it just wasn't the same.

Yunho had Mingi, and Yeosang, although he didn't realise it until now had Seonghwa.

A boy who treasured him, who would do anything for him, someone who loved him.

Yunho was Yeosang's primary school best friend, but Seonghwa was his high school best friend and their relationship ran a lot deeper, it was more intimate even if it was based on lies towards the end.

Yeosang realised after Seonghwa was gone just how much he cared for the older. Although he was doing it for selfish reasons being with Seonghwa felt good, it was easy and he realised it was because he was in love with Seonghwa. It wasn't a child hood or teenage crush, it wasn't lust, Yeosang just genuinely loved him.

Seonghwa had been there all along, and even before Yeosang fucked up their friendship he knew that he loved him too. At some point in time the love Yeosang had for Seonghwa shifted from friendship to something more.

But unfortunately he'd realised how he felt too late.

Seonghwa knew how to disappear and boy did he disappear. No one knew where he went, it was almost like he'd left Earth.

It wasn't until Yeosang had visited the olders mother that he found out where Seonghwa had gone.

Seonghwa had apparently accumulated quite the amount in his bank account since he and his mother had distanced themselves from his father, and it turned out that his mother had been stashing some cash away for her son too. She wanted the best for her son which is why she didn't hesitate when Seonghwa had told her he wanted to study his later half of his final year overseas.

Seonghwa had blocked him on his social media accounts so he had no way of tracking him.

Yeosang felt like he didn't deserve to see Seonghwa, this was just karma biting him in the ass, hence he didn't try search through his other friends accounts, he didn't try and track the boy down.

Even though Yeosang had realised he loved the boy dearly he would let him go. Yeosang would let him find the happiness he deserved, the happiness that he had failed to give in full.

He'd allow Seonghwa that respect. Because Yeosang, love and boys don't mix well.

Yeosang thought he'd never see the boy ever again, but as Yeosang was about to learn, that was all going to change.

~ 💔 ~