𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐬 • 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

13. Undeserving

3 Years Later

It was a pleasant spring morning and as Yeosang's eyes fell on Seonghwa whom had just walked into his regular coffee shop he liked to go too every morning, he felt a stab to his heart. 

Yeosang was still in love with Park Seonghwa, and he he was sure the love he felt had only grown stronger as time had passed.

Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder.

If he had any doubts, they were now crushed, his love only reaffirmed with a simple glance. Yeosang quickly raised the comic book he was holding over his face, only slowly and gently lowering it again just so he could peek over the top.

Everything Yeosang had felt was swelling in his heart, shining as clear as day.

All the love, the friendship, all the good times they had had together, the kisses they had shared, the way Seonghwa had touched him, loved him, the way he had made him smile and filled his heart with such happiness each and every day they shared together.

Right there it was packaged away, along with a future they could have had if Yeosang hadn't screwed up, if he'd treated Seonghwa with respect right from the beginning.

Seonghwa looked good, he looked really fucking good. He had aged but age did absolute wonders on him. He'd grown more muscular, more defined, his once scrawny body was now fit and even more charming. The way Seonghwa held himself had changed too, he was standing tall and was leaning on one foot and searching through his phone, his other hand lodged in his pocket it made him look confident and proud, and was much different from the slouch Seonghwa used to have that made him look seem small and timid.

He was dressed in what Yeosang could only assume was a very expensive suit. It was dark blue and cut perfectly as if it had been sculpted just for Seonghwa's body. His shoes were black and his hair was neat and draped over his shoulder was a smart looking satchel.

Yeosang felt like he looked like a kid in his ripped skinny jeans, hoodie, patterned sneakers and beanie. He was no match for this new Seonghwa. Seonghwa had obviously been productive in the time they were apart, and Yeosang felt like he'd achieved nothing.

"Wow" Yeosang felt himself saying.

If Seonghwa had had any of this confidence and polished demure back in high school Yeosang suspected they may never would have met. This Seonghwa looked like he ran with the cool kids not with the quirky inbetweeners.

Yeosang wondered just what had happened in Seonghwa's life that clearly turned a boy who struggled to a man who thrives.

"Should I say hi??" Yeosang mumbled to himself. Did he deserve to say Hi?

What would happen if Seonghwa saw him? Would Seonghwa even want to see him? Seonghwa had excelled, surpassed, and Yeosang felt like he completely missed his window of opportunity if had even tried to make an effort to get Seonghwa back.

Yeosang settled on the fact that he didn't deserve to lay eyes on such a bright star, he felt incomparable to the handsome man Seonghwa had become.

Yeosang began to panic from the seat he was sitting in as he waited for his order, terrified of Seonghwa seeing him, and he was fumbling so much wondering if he should get up, stay put, continue to hide behind his comic book or sprint straight out of the cafe, that he practically had a heart attack as the woman at the counter called his name. His full name. Oh why did I give my full name?!

"Kang Yeosang your order is ready"

Yeosang eyes went wide as Seonghwa's head flung upwards looking at the woman at the counter and then looking around the cafe.

Seonghwa's eyes immediately found Yeosang's and Yeosang covered his face completely again with his comic book.

"Kang Yeosang?" the woman at the counter called again.

Yeosang knew he couldn't just stay seated so he closed his comic book, shoved it in his bag, adverted his gaze to the floor and stood up.

He felt like an idiot as he tripped on the his own two feet getting out of his chair and it was almost comical as he bumped into a random table and stumbled to the counter while doing his best to avoid looking at Seonghwa.

"Just keep looking down" Yeosang repeated.

Yeosang heard Seonghwa call his name as he grabbed his coffee and zoomed towards the door, and Yeosang swooned at how beautiful that voice was, how heart warming it was to hear his name fall from the others lips.

But Yeosang was scared of what Seonghwa might say. Yeosang felt worthless, Seonghwa didn't need worthless. It was pathetic that he wanted to hide. But what else could he do? Yeosang wanted Seonghwa to be happy and it would seem that Yeosang now would probably ruin that happiness Seonghwa had created for himself. Seonghwa had moved on and made a life for himself and Yeosang was wondering why he hadn't done the same.

Why was it that when he fell in love he always fell so hard?

Although he'd just bought the coffee, right now it was a hindrance and he awkwardly dropped it on a random customers table who were seated outside before sprinting down the street.

But Yeosang was out of luck and his asthma kicked in and made it hard to breath.

Yeosang turned down a back alleyway and caved on the ground choking his lungs out as he fumbled for his inhaler.

He soon found his little blue puffer and tears stung in his eyes as he tried to regain his composure.

"You're still an idiot Sang" a deep and smooth voice said.

Yeosang began coughing again and he thumped on his chest at hearing his name from that honey silk voice, and he wheezed when he felt Seonghwa's hand patting his back helping him gasp air into his lungs.

Yeosang began breathing again and Seonghwa stopped petting his back.

Yeosang stood shamefully knowing that when he turned around he'd be faced with what he lost. What he could never have.

That's what Yeosang had thought.

Yeosang stood up, turned around and there was Seonghwa; directly behind him. He was so close Yeosang could feel Seonghwa's breath hit his face. Yeosang hiccupped.

It would appear Seonghwa had grown a lot taller; Seonghwa towered above Yeosang making him feel smaller and even more pathetic than he already did.

"You dating anyone?"Seonghwa asked out of the blue.

"Wha-?"Yeosang gasped, why was that the first question Seonghwa wanted to ask?

Yeosang hiccupped again, this time placing a hand at the base of his throat hopping the hiccups would stop and wouldn't cause a coughing fit.

"N-no?" Yeosang stuttered out in answer.

A smirk Yeosang had never seen before fell on the Seonghwa's face, "Good" he said.

Seonghwa stepped closer if that was even possible, one hand wrapping around Yeosang's waist the other behind his neck and they were. . .

Kissing.

Kissing ?

K I S S I N G?

Oh shit Yeosang was being hit right in his feels, his hiccups firmly lodged in his throat.

A/n I'm in a posting mood so you may get another chapter soon hehe👀