Dichotomy

Spur of confusion

She's here... There she stands with fiery hair and beautiful eyes.

She's Breathtaking in all her splendor... But she's not... meant for me...

Not meant for me to hold, to kiss, the fantasy for true is bliss, but a fantasy is all it must be.

If I cross that line I'm damned to suffer a firery death.

And the other that hair glistens like gold and sapphire... Would be cast out.

The mind and soul and heart I'm plagued with is succumbed by doubt.

Am I destined to be unloved?

Fate seems to be cruel to me.

The burning and scars that litter my body, are only a fraction of me.

The words I can't speak, scream beneath my skin, but I'll never let them breathe or speak out against my kin.

Holding my breath is the only thing I'm good at... But I'm not allowed to show my cracks.

Support, love, chaos and destruction... This life we live is hard to function...

In time I believe it'll get better.

For those I love for sure, but for me, it's a long gone distant memory.

Does my flesh crave her touch? Or does my soul recognize my soulmate?

For so long, I've loved and lost, and wanted but never gained...

The possibility that I'm just desperately searching has reared its ugly head again.

My heart is on fire with the doubt and self inflicted destruction, what is this craving that lurks beneath my surface?!

But I won't speak. I won't even breathe. Freedom is earned, and my future seems bleak.

I think back to the girl who's smile was all she knew... And now she's gone, and tired, was she even real in truth?

Was it just a ruse, to hide beneath the shame, and disdain, for her past pains?

Confused... And clouding causes... What is the truth? And what is the falses?