Ahsoka, Daughter of the Light (Book 2): Shadows

Chapter 13: The Choices She Made

PADMÉ AMIDALA

"You know, it's not often I get to spend some time with you," Anakin said to Padmé.

He was in Padmé's office in the Senate apartment building, in one of the rare occasions he was allowed to see the senator who was his wife, who he was married to in secret.

"Yes, I know," she said. "Being a Senator, and with you being a Jedi... gosh, it seems we're both always busy..."

Then, Padmé looked at Anakin. He looked a little... sad. She knew very well what he was sad about.

"Anakin... you're still worried about Ahsoka, aren't you?"

Anakin began to look a little grumpy.

"I... don't really want to talk about it..." he said.

"Anakin," Padmé said, "she made a choice. You can't blame her for that. More importantly, you can't blame yourself for that."

"I... I feel like it's my fault! I've never been the best Jedi myself, and the only thing that has kept me in tho Order is this whole 'Chosen One' thing! The moment I try to teach someone, they just walk away from the Jedi, from me!"

"Anakin, please. She made a choice. Don't get me wrong, I miss her too, just..."

"What?"

"Just... please, put it behind you Anakin, I don't want you to be sad about it..."

They both paused.

Anakin broke the silence. "I... I hope she's okay, at least... that would be enough..."

He was quite clearly trying to hold back tears.

"Don't worry," Padmé said, "She'll be okay, I know she will."

AHSOKA TANO

Ahsoka stood on the balcony, looking over the city of Iziz. This balcony was not that different from the one where Cad Bane had tried to assassinate Lux, during that stay on Onderon where she realized she had feelings for Lux and fell in love with him.

Lux walked out to the balcony, and grabbed Ahsoka's hand. She grabbed it back, and they held hands.

"This view," Ahsoka said, "it's beautiful..."

"Yes," Lux replied. "A lot like you."

"Why thanks!" Ahsoka said. "You always make me feel better, Lux. You're the only person left who hasn't either betrayed me or I walked away from. Anakin, Rex, Barriss..."

She trailed off there.

Barriss, she thought, She betrayed me! I... she...

Ahsoka suddenly felt that urge to get revenge again.

"Ahsoka," Lux said, grabbing her hand again. She only just realized it was clenched in a fist and not holding Lux's/

"Sorry..." Ahsoka replied.

"No, tell me about her."

"Who?"

"Barriss. You mentioned her before. From what it sounds like, you two were close..."

Ahsoka paused, before she said, "Yeah... we were close. She was... kind, caring, and sweet, a lot like me. Yet, one day, she just..."

Ahsoka began to cry again.

"She betrayed me. She was responsible for that Temple Bombing invident, and she decided to frame me for it! I... Why did she do that! I trusted her!"

"Ahsoka!" Lux said, once again grabbing Ahsoka's hand, which had clenched up in a fist again.

"Oh dear, I keep... Ugh, no I can't let the anger get to me. I'm not a Jedi anymore, but if I fall to the dark side..."

her head began to ache.

Then, a thought popped into her head.

What... what if... she thought, maybe the dark side... isn't... so bad...

But then, Lux bet his arm around her, and she noticed he was crying.

"Please," he said, "don't ever become a Sith."

What the kriff am I thinking!?!? She thought.

She shook off any thoughts she had about joining the dark side and hugged him.

"Don't worry," she said, "I... I won't."