KAI x YOU (Short Story, Break up and Make up Ver.)

the aftermath

   The aftermath was hard. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. I loved him, I loved him a lot. But I wasn't stupid to listen to him after all that I've witnessed. I knew what kind of person I was, and to make sure there was no room for forgiveness I had to make sure there was no contact. I had to compose myself on that day, but after a good ten minutes of crying and dry heaving because I felt like I was going to puke- I wiped my tears and decided that if I wanted to cry, I would have to do it because me and Kai were done. 

I wouldn't cry because he cheated, I would cry because I would have lost a lover and a best friend. Sporter seemed to know, the frenchie going up to me just to slobber saliva over my face and I held him close. He stopped moving, like he knew I needed the comfort and warmth. I sat there, my eyes blank, my tears on his fur coat. It hurt even more, knowing that I also had limited time left with Sporter. He was Kai's dog, after all.

I sat by my desk, my hands lifting up the phone I now hated. I didn't delete her chat, didn't say anything, I just left it like that. I went to Kakaotalk, pressed the blocked button. Deleted my chat with him, and my heart twisted a bit because it had chats of us since the beginning. I breathed, pressed the home button and went to photos. Here's the hard part.

Photos.

I decided to take one look at them one last time, swiping at the photos of us while we went to dinner, the amusement parks we went to, the roses he bought me for valentines. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't. I just couldn't. He had the best eyes, he had the best lips, the best touch and the best soul- so how... How could he do something like that to me? I felt the tears coming again and I sat with my head pulled back as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was not one for self pity but the journey of heartbreak does wonders on your emotions. Was I not enough? I traveled to the memories of the time he was happy with me, how he would try so hard to call, how he would try not to fall asleep so he could hear my voice. Then to a month ago.

Work, he said. Work is so stressful. Was going on dates with Kim Jinah work? I felt the sadness consume again and I looked down on the screen once more, staring at the photos. One particularly stood out, it was the day Kai and I first started dating.

October 2018

It was in the hospital and I was sick to my stomach. I had been puking over and over again and my face was so pale. I think I had been talking to Kai for some time, but I was always so guarded around him. Baekhyun said he was a sweetheart, but he did seem like a sweetheart to everyone else. I remember waking up to him beside my hospital bed, my hand in his. I was shy and I tried to pull away, his hand tightening around mine at the movement. I turned my head, closing my eyes as I tried to sleep before I could feel him stir. I pretended to sleep just for him to wake up before he kissed me on the cheek and I could feel his hand caressing my cheek. "You're so beautiful. I can't wait to make you mine."

I guess Jinah was beautiful too. I bet he couldn't wait to make her his too, that's why he said we were done.

The next morning was the morning I woke up with him beside me, his tired eyes saying enough. The day one of our relationship. How'd I know? Because when his boss called me he answered the phone by saying, "No, sir. I have to bring my girlfriend home."

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The first week was horrible. Nights, especially. The contract of my apartment was ending the month after and instead of continuing it, I ended up moving out. The room smelled like him, the room made me think of him and the moment I moved out, I decided to put everything behind me. The day I moved out, Baekhyun was the one who helped. He knew what happened, he was the only one who knew. I told everyone that the break up was mutual, that the distance was affecting us and that I was fine. Everything was fine. Baekhyun had been friends with Kai for the longest time and I knew Kai from him. He was pissed when it happened and he demanded I ask for an explanation but I didn't need one. I didn't want to be with him anymore, I was scared of getting hurt. What would an explanation help with?

The first week was also the hardest because Kai was trying to reach out through the only way he could- my email. He wrote a long email about how he was sorry and that he confused. He never said he wanted me back, he just said that he was sorry he hurt me and he didn't to do it. I didn't reach the whole email, I deleted it and didn't reach back. After the first week, he stopped writing and I was happy he stopped because on some days I missed him so much I thought I'd write back.

I wanted to take care of Sporter, he was my son too. But my new apartment didn't allow dogs so I had to give Sporter to Baekhyun and he was nice enough to take care of Sporter even though he saw the frenchie as a little bugger of energy.

"Everything is going to be fine, you know." Baekhyun said as he helped clean my kitchen.

"I'm fine, Oppa." I said to him, smiling.

"Just don't hate him."

"I don't. I never will be able to." I breathed. "I just don't ever want to see him ever again."

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Authors note:

I kind of cried when I wrote this chapter because this was how I was feeling when I was sad. Then again-- Ugh.