Coloured Me Grey (Book Two)

Chapter 30

I'm backkkkkkk. Yahooooo. (I'm always weirdly excited for angsty chapters, like, yes, I'm gonna rip your heart out and hand it to you. Look. Look at your bloody organ.)

Anyway, hope y'all are in good health. ❤

I'm working on illustrations for these characters. They're gonna be super simple, but I still wanna replace the embarrassing Bollywood cast I've employed LMAO. I'm done with Tuhin and Tuhina. Once I finish Ishan's, I'm gonna start uploading them here as well as in the first book! Yeehaww!!!

A polar bear going in circles trying to catch its own tail. That's how I feel right now. Not lithe like your everyday mongrel with a tail long enough to reach. I was the big ass white bear, with an almost non-existent tail which I cannot even see, let alone catch it, but have an indomitable urge to bite and chew the life out of it.

Guess neither dogs nor polar bears have such morbid thought processes about their own tails.

But as a polar bear, at least I wouldn't be so cold all the time; the thick layers of fat could have helped.

It was for the good, I told myself. If Yash happened to hear about me being a high school nutjob from someone else, it could've been worse.

"Riyaaz," there was a brief knock at my door and it clicked open.

I peeked from beneath my arm, making no effort to get out of the bed.

"Zara left for school."

I've failed my mother. I've failed Ishan. I've failed Yash. Now I'm failing my sister too.

"What's wrong? You've been like this for two days now. And don't you have college today?"

I hummed in reply.

"Your father is starting to lose it," Zara's mother legit sounded nervous.

"You come home late these days, you don't even talk to Zara properly." She let herself inside and sat at the edge of my bed.

"I'm worried, Riyaaz. Is that girl still hurting you?"

I shook my head. She thought this was still about Nisha.

"I hope Divya is able to cope with it. Such a lovely girl. Who knew she would have such... tastes."

Who knew your stepson has such tastes too?

I cannot deal with this passively casual homophobia right now.

There was a brief pause. And then she was running her fingers through my hair soothingly.

"That night when you called me up, I was really scared for you." She drew in a sharp breath. "But the strangest thing was, I was happy. In your moment of crisis, I don't know if you had realised it, but you did call me "mom" over the phone. I wanted nothing more than you to come home and call me that once more. I wished you would let me help you. Sometimes, I feel so greedy, Riyaaz. I can't help it."

Did I really –?

Fucking oodles and puddles of daft punk polar bears.

I don’t know how to react to that.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to replace your mother, I could never do that. But you can have more than one mother loving you and caring for you, can't you, Riyaaz?"