A/N: Trigger warning: self harm, bloody scenes (Is that even a trigger for some? I just felt like I needed to put it in).
He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay.
Nico thought he may drive himself crazy with repeating those three words internally.
He needed a break. The stupid problems and papers were going to make him scream. He began tapping his foot anxiously and constantly fidgeting with his hands.
Nico got up. He felt Austin's and Will's eyes on him, and he hated it. "Excuse me, I have to use the restroom."
As he turned to walk away, two guards followed him.
"I can handle myself," Nico snapped. "I don't care who gave you orders. I say no." His black sword was at his side, and he had a small knife hidden. Every royal had to least one weapon with them at all times.
He walked away silently with Will Solace staring at him.
"You in love?" Austin joked.
"Probably." Will breathed. "God, he's hot."
Austin chuckled. "Go get 'em, tiger."
•••
Thankfully the public bathroom in the castle wasn't occupied. Nico locked the door. He ran over to the sink and gripped it tightly while staring at his reflection.
The elegant crown was on his head showed his sign of royalty. He wished nothing more than to get rid of that sign. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve anything.
He bit his lip to stop the scream that threatened to come out. The small squeak that escaped echoed throughout the bathroom.
A metallic tasting liquid filled in his mouth. A soft sigh come out as he let the blood dribble down his chin.
More....more....blood....
What was the difference of more blood? The thought of more blood seemed to satisfy Nico. He pulled out his small hidden knife.
He gripped it on the wrong side on the blade, the bladed side. Blood slipped down his pale fingers and onto his hand.
Yes...
He held the handle with his clean hand and traced it along his pale wrists. His hand began to shake. His vision got blurry.
"It hurts so much...." Nico gasped. He dropped the knife. He held onto the sink as if it was his life line. It was the only thing holding him into his life. He needed to have his hands anywhere but a blade.
Blood was everywhere. It hurt to breathe. It was hard to live. The monster inside his head kept on circling in his never ending swirl of darkness.
Nico didn't know how to get the monster away. He didn't know how to get it outside of his head. Was there something wrong with him? Was he going insane?
Everything he saw seemed to be dark. No light. No happiness.
He looked over at his knife on the floor. Did he really want to leave Hazel? Would Bianca want this? He needed his Bianca, his will to life. He needed to make her proud, but how?
He is he supposed to live if Bianca was gone? His mother? With Hades only being there—not needed—in his life?
Hazel....
A tear slid down his cheek. How could he leave her?
"Hazel.." he gasped. The word echoed throughout the bathroom. Such a simple name, a small two-syllable name. But it had so much meaning. It was keeping Nico alive. She was the reason he wasn't six feet under. She was Nico's little sister.
YOU ARE READING
Not Your Choice
Fanfiction"But he, and everyone else, remained emotionless. So that was the purpose of this meeting? To show how much control their parents have over them? Percy was grateful that he and his future would get to choose, but he barely knew these people. He had...
