"Hey guys, it's been a while hasn't it" I chuckle into the microphone, from the comfort of my own bedroom, I stare at the photo of me and Emily in studio three, a place a often called my second home, all the late nights I had spent there.
"I guess sometimes you just have nothing to say" I continue, as I take a deep breath. "I've had a lot of time to think, and in two weeks I've been invited to take part on the annual Kissfm party.." I chuckle. "But that means the world will finally know who I am, it means people will finally know who I am, and I don't know how I feel about that" I mumble, as I run my fingers across my jeans, then tug at the sleeves on my jumper slightly. "Someone noticed me the other day, like actually noticed me" I smile, as I look at the dashboard that's indicting I have callers. "And I don't really know how I feel about that, so maybe I'll play a song and answer some calls? your advice might make a difference" I smile to myself, as I play 'IDK you yet' letting the lyrics do the talking for me for once.
After the song dies down, I press the microphone button, and take a deep breath. "Here goes nothing" I chuckle, as I click answer to the first caller. "Hey" I breath down the microphone, as a voice I didn't expect to come through the speakers does. "Hey, I know how you feel" he whispers, as I sigh to myself. It would be typical that this person would be the person who would call in first. "Does it all ever get too much for you?" I question, as I hear him sigh down the phone, as I nod my head to myself. "I feel like it can be overwhelming sometimes, I think that it's not as easy as other people make it look, but I believe that you'll stay true to yourself if and when this whole thing comes out" he states, and I can hear a small smile in his mouth. "Well, thanks for calling in, have you got a song request?" I smile, as I think about where he is in the world right now, whether he was at kiss studios, or whether he was at DanceWorks, or if he was lying in his bed, the same as I was. "Perfect Strangers" he smiles, as I nod my head, ending the call and playing the start of the song through the speakers. "So, this is me signing off, until next time guys" I smile, as the music takes over and I turn off all the microphones, setting the timer for the broadcast to end at the same time as the song.
I sigh to myself and scroll down my personal Instagram, that I see Perri had how followed. I smiled to myself and follow him back, as I scroll down his page looking at his recently posted. He was a busy person and I don't know how he managed to fit everything he did into the day, because I know deep down that I never would be able to do what he did and still find time to eat and sleep. I scroll onto my messages and look for the new message icon, typing out a message to Perri.
ItsEssie- ringing in now are we? 😂
RealPerriKiely- of course, the guys love your show
ItsEssie- well that's nice to know, I'm a fan of yours too
RealPerriKiely- you haven't been at the studio for a while?.. did I scare you off?
ItsEssie- life's complicated, I'll be around soon enough, any plans today?
RealPerriKiely- wouldn't you like to known👀
I laugh to myself, and put my phone in my pocket, before bouncing down the stairs to find some food, this is all I had done lately, go from my room to the kitchen and back again, but I felt good today, today was going to be different.
"You seem a lot happier, your show was amazing as usual" Mum states from the kitchen as she cuts some more flowers that had been sent to her for a congratulations for expanding her family. "I feel better" I smile, as I pour myself a glass of orange juice. "I'm glad to see you happier" she smiles at me, as she embraces me in a side hug, before I walk into the lounge, looking at the news that was playing in the background of my mums morning routine.
I stand at the doorway as Perri's face flashes across the screen, a photo of him and Olivia flashes on the screen of them outside what I can only assume is their house, if they even live together, before another photo flashes of both of them leaving the doctors, the heading underneath reading; Perri Kiely and girlfriend Olivia expecting their first child?
It's at that moment that my heart stops beating, that I realise that deep down I had fell for Perri Kiely, that in fact he was already in a relationship, and one he seemed happy in, one that seemed to be going places. But that didn't change how I felt. Even though he was the only other person apart from Emily to know my secret, I felt like we had connected, I felt like I meant something to him. But again, in this moment in time I realised I would never fit into his world, I wouldn't ever be apart of his world.
ItsEssie- congratulations.
After I send the message I throw my phone onto the sofa, before walking or running up the stairs, blinking away the tears fast so they wouldn't fall, if i refused to believe what I knew it wouldn't make it feel true, would it?
YOU ARE READING
Her.
FanfictionEsme works at the radio station, all she ever wanted was to get through life not being noticed. but what happens when she starts to fall for perri, will their two different worlds collide, or will she never exist in his.
