Her.

Chapter Ten.

"Why an earth would you want to invite them to Mums baby shower? She doesn't even have anything to do with Kiss anymore!" I moan to Jamie, who just laughs at me. "Hey, it's being held at Kiss, might as well invite everyone who does a radio show" Jamie chuckles, I shake my head, running a hand through my hair. "I've never even spoke to them, why would I want to start now" I mumble, as Jamie shakes his head, his gaze becoming serious. "No one is asking you to speak to them, but they are inquiring about your secret identity, they only found out I was your brother the other day" Jamie teases, as I pretend to hit my head off the table, the anxious feeling I knew all too well filling my body, making me feel sick.

"I just wish I could stop it all yano?" I whisper, as I look up at Jamie, his bright blue eyes staring back at me. "Give what up Es?" He whispers, as he sits on the table next to where I was resting my head. "Like, if I could go back in time and stop the small podcasts I would" I whisper, as I move my hand underneath my chin, my head resting on my hand. Jamie shakes his head from beside me, "I don't think you would, I think its allowed you to be who you are, who you wanted to be, and look at the viewers, they love you just as much as I do, and that's something that will never change" He whispers, as he places his hand on my head, stroking my hair slightly. "Even when they find out im a nobody?" I question, as Jamie shakes his head. "You'll never just be a nobody to me" He whispers, as I stand up and hug him, feeling his arms around me makes me feel safe, I felt like I could do anything with Jamie around, he may not be my brother by blood, but he would always be my brother in my heart.

The door to the studio opens, and Jordan appears in the doorway, popping his head around the door, until his eyes land on my and a smile embraces his face. "Ah, Esme do you have a minute Perri has been looking for you" he smiles, as I freeze in my spot. "She's on her lunch right now, but I'll send her to the studio when she's free" Jamie smiles, as Jordan nods his head, before waving and leaving, the studio door shutting loudly behind him. "One day they are going to figure it out, I know you're sick of hearing it, but honestly it's better now than later" Jamie whispers, as he walks over to the studio door, smiling quickly before opening it and leaving, making myself alone in the room, the quietness making me happy.

I lean over and pick up the headphones, placing them half over one ear and fully over the other, pressing play on the music and the recording button, swaying to the sound of the beat, my emotions leaving my body as soon as I open my mouth.

"I can't stop dreaming, and thinking, Maybe I could be someone different, More than a yearbook memory" I sing, tapping my hand to the beat of the music, feeling like myself for the first time in a while. Like nothing else would ever matter, that I could shout my secrets, my regrets from the top of the kiss roof, letting anyone and everyone hear what I was saying, in this moment I felt alive. "If I leave this, I'm riskin' almost everything, Am I on the right road" I sing, as I hear the door close behind me, making me jump and turn around.

"Erm" Perri mumbles, as I pull the headphones down around my neck, pressing stop on the recording, and muting the music. I brush my elbow nervously, as Perri looks me up and down. "That voice" he whispers, as his eyes catch mine, his usual bright brown eyes that sparkled were dark, still big but dark, almost black, but as they fall on my green ones they soften, his face softens, his whole body relaxes, almost like I'd magicked whatever he was feeling away. "That voice" he whispers as he shakes his head, my mouth open to say something, but nothing comes out. "I know that voice" he whispers, as he pulls a hand through his Afro. I shake my head, he couldn't put two and two together, he just couldn't. "Sing again" he states, as he walks over slowly, pressing play on the mixer that was a few meters away from me. I look at him with wide eyes, as he points to the headphones, but I didn't need to lift the headphones to know the music was playing, I could feel it against my neck.

"Pretend I'm not here" he whispers, as he stands behind one of the kiss posters, but he large ones, once he had stepped behind it I couldn't see it, and all of a sudden I felt like he wasn't even here.
"Out of the old, Ive got to find my way, Into the new, Give everything it takes" I sing, as Perri comes from behind the poster, his mouth open.

"You clearly sing" he whispers, as he leans against the table, as I pull my headphones back down, pressing pause on the music again. I nod my head, as he smiles. "I used to think you were our studio manager, but you're not you're too shy" he chuckles, as he pushes some of the afro that was falling down his face out of his eyes, his brown eyes connecting with mine. "But you defiantly sing for Girl Behind The Microphone" he smirks, as I shake my head. "Don't deny it, me and Jordan heard the clip of 'Counterfeit' you sound the same" he smiles, as I sigh, pushing the hair out of my own face. "And maybe, just maybe" he states, as he walks over to me, becoming a meter away at the most, close enough to smell his signage cologne. "Maybe, you aren't who we think you are" he smiles, as he brushes a strand of hair from my face.