HONESTLY

The back of the school was quiet compared to the ruckus from earlier in the day in the front of the school. I leaned up against the warm, brick building, wondering how I got there.

The only real person I could blame was myself.

The back door opened slowly, and I realized this was the moment I could've avoided if I didn't succumb to all those festering emotions after my mother's death.

Revenge was not like me. The whole situation completely sucked.

Nate peeked his head out from behind the door, almost acting like he was being set up. Maybe the door would lock behind him, and he'd miss the concert. 

That actually would've been a good idea if I had thought of it beforehand.

When Nate finally saw me, he let the door close behind him as he walked towards me.

"So...are you ready to talk," he said in a monotone voice as he stood next to me, leaning against the same wall with his hands placed nervously in his pockets.

I took a breath and stared into his eyes.

"I thought you were drunk that night, that's why I went over. I wanted to check on you," I said shaking my head. "Even after you pretended you didn't know me at school, I still cared about what happened to you."

Nate looked down at the ground.

"I wasn't drunk," he somberly said.

"I wish you had been," I confessed. "Why did you have to say all those things? You confused me so much that I thought you were actually telling me the truth," I said, tearing up in front of him for the first time since our reunion.

I couldn't hold back the emotions any longer, my heart felt like it was being crushed all over again.

Nate moved closer,  face to face again, like at the bar.

"Maybe this isn't the right time to be talking about this," Nate said softly as he looked around at the school grounds and not-so-private setting.

"We have to talk about it now," I said adamantly, still with tears in my eyes. "You don't understand..."

As I was just about to tell Nate about the song, a student emerged out of nowhere.

"She's over here," the kid shouted as a few more students ran into sight.

Nate and I both panicked.

"Follow me," he said ushering me away from the kids and back into the school safely.

I wiped the small amount of tears off my face as we tried to catch our breath from the quick escape, then Lily appeared.

"It's GO time," she simply said.

I looked at her, then looked at Nate, then looked back at her.

"But I need a couple more minutes," I said frantically. 

Lily shook her head at me.

"The technicians need you, something didn't seem right with soundcheck. We won't be on time if you don't go right now and fix it," she declared as she strangely focused on my face, "and we should fix this, too."

Lily used her hand to emphasize something was not quite right with my makeup,  but she couldn't figure out why.

Nate tried to make it easy for me, saying he hoped we would continue the conversation later. He didn't know I wasn't planning on sticking around. Lily had already re-arranged our travel plans to leave that night.