HONESTLY

Misunderstood

The notebook from Nate's house was still at the bottom of my bag. When I first arrived back home, I unpacked everything but that. During my pitch to Walt, my intentions included finishing the song I created that fateful day I walked to the football field to surprise Nate. The song was a work in progress, but the subject stayed the same, it was about me, not Nate. Of course, a few lyrics needed to be tweaked due to my current circumstances, but I was confident there was no need to start over.

As I flipped through the lined paper to find my place in the notebook, I definitely had moments where the memories of Nate were fresh in my mind, especially that last, "I love you," in his bedroom. I struggled with an internal battle where the girl inside me wanted to burn the notebook, and the young adult inside me wanted to share the lyrics on the pages, not destroy them.

Just as I started to have productive work days again, an emotional hiccup completely stalled my progress.

I received an email from Lily.

Lily knew how upset I was about Nate's interview and the aftermath where he denied everything. When he alluded that the tabloids heavily edited his interview, I told Lily I didn't trust a word he said.

In Lily's email, she confessed:

I hated seeing you like that. I just wanted to make sure, you know, that there wasn't more to the interview like he said. I wanted to be a hundred percent.

She concluded by referencing the video attachment in the email:

I think you should watch this. I know it doesn't change the bigger picture, but I couldn't keep it from you.

I plunked down at the kitchen table. Lily had me in suspense. There was no way I wasn't going to click on the link.

The video began with the paparazzi surrounding Nate on the football field. This was the same scene I saw the day I ventured out to surprise him with news about the song. When his face appeared in the video, I second-guessed Lily's decision, maybe she should've kept the video from me? Even though I was conflicted, I continued to watch.

From the beginning, Nate seemed caught off guard by the paparazzi. He put his hands up and asked them politely for a little space.

"As you can see, I'm just a football coach, not a celebrity. Do you mind giving me a little space?" he asked, while smiling nervously.

The reporters backed away. Their sense of urgency was halted by the mere fact that he spoke to them, and he wasn't looking for an escape route.

After they settled the space issue, Nate was asked the first question about how it felt to date the hottest country star.

His full response was, "It feels pretty great," he paused, "to be here on the football field, getting ready for another season. That's public knowledge. Who I date, or don't date, is private, and my own business."

Nate smiled at his answer, like he was getting a kick out of annoying the press.

The next question was about me dating two people at once and if he knew.

He said, "Yeah, I knew."

Reliving that particular answer stung a bit, but what happened next was not what I expected.

Nate paused, glancing around at each reporter who was glued to every word he was saying.

He laughed, "You like that answer, even if it's a lie. Of course, I didn't know, because it didn't happen. But that's not what you want to here, do you? Pictures don't tell a story, people do."

He then told them he'd take one more question, because as they could see, he was late for practice.

The last question was about how Nate and I met. I really didn't need to hear that answer repeated either, but my curiosity got the best of me.