HONESTLY

Alone

It was still kind of strange seeing the boy I grew up with in such a mature role. Even though I had my own studio and space on the farmhouse, I was still on my father's property, which was a far cry from living by myself in suburbia on a dead-end street.

The quaint home had an instant charm with fresh flowers displayed on the coffee table and a balance of modern and rustic furnishings scattered throughout. On the white mantel above the red, brick fireplace, Nate had displayed some of Jenna's framed drawings, her signature highlighted in the bottom, right hand corner.

Nate's home was extremely quiet, almost too quiet. I was never in my studio without some kind of noise, either chickens cackling outside or the sound of me strumming on my guitar experimenting with different melodies.

The silence in the air was interrupted as the door closed behind me, which startled me for a second. I refocused my attention back on Nate who pointed to the bags in my hands. He suggested I place them down in the corner of the room. I still didn't know what was happening or how I ended up there so I simply did what I was told and placed the bags down.

"What now?" I said softly as I glanced up and finally made real eye contact with him.

"You must be hungry from the long drive," he replied in a monotone voice.

I shook my head, I couldn't stomach a thing.

"I'd really like to take a shower," I responded.

He quickly obliged and grabbed my bags before escorting me upstairs to the guest bedroom. Silence returned until I heard the sound of the stairs creaking from our footsteps as we walked up the hardwood stairs.

When we reached the plain and simple bedroom decorated with neutral linens and an older bureau, he placed the bags down on the bed and pointed across the hall to the bathroom. His demeanor was standoffish, and his words were short and to the point, before he exited the room and left me alone. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. I wasn't going to begin a discussion or force one with Nate before I could regroup and sort my thoughts out in my head.

I stood underneath the shower, letting the warm water fall down on my head and back, trying not to let my emotions takeover. My muscles ached, probably from laying in an awkward position in the car ride to North Carolina. Realizing I couldn't stay in the shower indefinitely to avoid my problems, I made my way back to the room and changed into bulky sweats and a t-shirt. I was impressed with my father who seemed to have no problem searching through his daughter's messy drawers to find the things he needed to fulfill Lily's list.

As I made my way down the stairs, I smelt something familiar. I turned the corner to the family room and saw a grilled cheese placed on the coffee table with a glass of red wine sitting next to it. Nate's mom taught him to cook one thing and that was grilled cheese. Every time I'd go to his house when we were kids, he'd offer to make me one, even if I wasn't hungry. He perfected grilling the bread, slightly burning each side, just how I liked it.

As I walked over to the black, leather couch, Nate sat in an armchair across from me with a beer in his hands.

"I haven't eaten a grilled cheese since you last cooked me one," I admitted as I slowly sat down on the couch.

"How was your shower?"

"Great...," I said awkwardly as I started to eat.

The grilled cheese was exactly how I remembered it, crunchy, buttery, and cheesy. Nate simply watched me, making me self-conscious as he drank his beer staring at me. I washed down the bread with wine, and then sipped more wine until I placed the glass back down.