.•°¤* ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ *¤°•.

~7~

It was Monday, finally. The snow had subsided but everything outside was still covered in it, the nights being too cold to allow it to melt. Dream told me he would be able to call me sometime after 6PM. So, with it now being 6:08PM, I sat in my chair with my leg bouncing and my hands fidgeting aimlessly. Discord was open, but so was TeamSpeak in which he practically begged me to download. Cat judged me from the spot on my bed where I had been previously laying. 

In the silence I was able to listen to my thoughts. They weren’t really thoughts though, more of stresses and worries. All of them competed to be at the front of my mind but they were going too fast for me to catch them. The whitenoise of my PC running and cars cautiously driving by only seemed to enhance the quietness in my house. My anxiety thrived in it. 

It’s okay that he’s a few minutes late. He said sometime after 6. It’s okay. He’s probably just having fun, right? Him and Stacy. I wonder what they’re doing. Did they go to the public lake that always became an ice rink at this time of the year? Did they go get coffee at the local cafe in the center of town? Or did they get hot chocolate? Dream hates coffee. Did she pretend to get cold in hopes that he would offer her his sweater and succeed? Did they sit on a couch together by the fireplace? Did she get to relish in his cologne and did he get to soak in the moments when he made her smile? 

Ugh, no, just stop, George. I shouldn’t be worried about them. I should just be happy for him. He’s not really my friend, we’re just gonna do a video together. His social life is probably so much more interesting than mine, I shouldn’t be jealous of something I don’t have. That’s just selfish. 

Nonetheless I couldn’t shake the feeling in my chest that tugged my heart down in the pit of my stomach. It was annoying, the way someone who I found irritating in any circumstance made me feel so anxious and vulnerable. I wanted so badly to trust my heart, to believe that he was good, that he could be different but a voice in my head screamed otherwise. There was a yearning for sure, for what exactly I didn’t truly know, but that yearning was always ripped from me and replaced with doubt.

I hadn’t noticed my leg bouncing faster, or the cuticle of my ring finger bleeding, or how my desk shook because of the vibration of my anxiousness, when Dream called. It was on TeamSpeak and he was with two other people. The pit in my stomach had grown now that I knew the call would be shared with a few other people. He told me that we would be recording a video, just us, no one else. I reluctantly accepted the call after a few rings and put my headset on. 

“George!” Shouted a familiar, but slightly distorted voice. I winced at the sound but giggled anyway. “Hi,” I said meekly. The other two people in the call remained silent, but it wasn’t awkward, yet, at least. “Alright, George, these are my friends Sapnap and Bad. But you already know Bad,” Dream explained with a hearty laugh. I recoiled a little. 

“What’s up dude,” Sapnap, I assumed, greeted. “Hi! It’s been super long, George, how have you been?” Bad’s cheerful voice rang through my headphones. I couldn’t resist the smile on my lips when I heard him, he was always in such a positive mood somehow. That was something I always envied when I coded for him a few years ago. “Hi, I’ve been pretty good,” it was the typical answer, brief and simple and no need for further explanation. “That’s nice to hear! Well, we’ll leave you guys to record, I know Dream wants you all to himself. Bye guys!” Bad responded and left the call. “And I gotta make dinner for us, so I’m heading out,” Sapnap said, leaving the call shortly after.

My face was a little red and my heart was racing, the silence from Dream certainly didn’t help. The relief of having the others leave was a nice sensation, but I somehow felt guilty for being happy about it. They seemed like nice people, well obviously Bad is, but things could change over a few years too. I reassured myself that they would understand we were just recording a video and that they were fine with, basically, a stranger talking with their friend before any other doubts could enter my mind.