a sky full of stars / yungblud

twenty-seven

hartley's point of view

"Hi, Dom." I say as I nervously fumble with my bracelet and stare at the clock going tick tock. "Hartley, it's almost 10.30 - don't you have to get up quite early?" He asks at the other end of the line.

It's 10.27 and I'm in my kitchen talking to my ex-boyfriend, whom I still love, 12 hours and 3 minutes before my wedding.

"The cold feet, they- i- fuck!" I shout before sitting down rapidly on my floor, tears escaping down my cheeks. I put my phone down, curl up into a bowl and cry on. Dominic shushes me, a weird yet comforting sound, phone or not. "Want me to sing you a song so you can calm down?" He asks me and i nod for a second before remembering that he doesn't see me, so I swiftly say "Yes, please."

"Which one?" I barely hear what he says due to my trembling, I know it's a panic attack. "F- Find Me In The River." I say, picking up my phone again, disabling the speaker. "Okay, I have my guitar right here." He strums on it a little before playing the chords to the song.

"Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please
We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And bought our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone and I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river, I'm waiting here for you."

The song relaxes me so much, that I don't realize I start to sing along. It's just our voices together, no one and nothing else disturbing it. I feel at peace.

"We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if the blessing's in the valley
Then in the river I will wait

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone and I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone and I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river, I'm waiting here for you

I'm waiting here for you
I'm waiting here for you." He finishes the song by strumming lightly on his guitar. A tear trickled down my cheek. "I don't know anyone who sings this better than you. Thank you for helping me, it means the world." I say, looking around the dark kitchen space I'm in. A knock on my door is heard; the girls are here. Has it already been an hour?

"Dom, I really want to keep talking to you," I start but sigh in the middle of the sentence. " - but the girls are here. I'm sorry." A weird sound is heard from his end of the line. "It's fine. Go have fun with your friends, I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful." He speaks very softly to me, a trait of his I enjoy a lot. "More like go to sleep with your friends, but thanks. I'll see you." I laugh before ending the call, get up, pace my way to the door and grab the doorknob.

"You can do it, Hartley. You can stop this and spare both of yourselves for the humiliation. All you have to do is open the doorknob and tell the truth. Don't lie to yourself." I tell myself. It's true. I can end it right now. I can finally live the life with Dom in the environment I used to love and adore. But if I choose him, I can risk loosing seven people in the process. However as usual, I'm stupid. I open the door.

Mali-Koa's face is the first I see. Then comes Clara, Ariana and Crystal. "Hi guys!!" I say, trying to seem excited. Clara pushes her way to the front. "Cold feet?" She asks, obviously hinting towards my Instagram post. I sigh and nod before falling into Mali's arms. She comforts me by patting her hand on my back. "Hey, it's okay! You can tell us!" I look into her brown eyes. I don't understand with she doesn't have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. She's absolutely breathtaking.

I invite them inside. It's 11.48.

"So, what's up?" We've all gathered in the living room. An awkward silence has spread around the room. I dread what I'm about to say, so before I say it, I take a deep breath, bring my hands together in my lap and relax my shoulders.

"I need to know, after I tell you what I'm about to say - will you stay by me?" I ask them and receive a bunch of nods.

"Always." Ariana and Crystal say.

"Well," I start. " - here it goes. Three weeks ago, when Luke and I were looking at flowers for the wedding, he asked me if I would get cold feet. I answered no, and said, that if I would, I would put some socks on. Little did I know who'd soon come back into my life and sweep me off my feet, the same way he has done it time and time again.

I have cold feet. And the reason I have cold feet, is because I still love Dominic. I love and care about him so so much. And I know Luke and I have dated for the past three years, but not one single time, has he managed to make me feel like Dom did. And I guess I just needed to realize that on my own."

I have four, very confused and shocked faces staring at me. A few minutes passed by without anyone saying anything. "Did you sleep with him?" Clara asks with an angry tone. I take some time to think. I don't even really need to think. I already know the answer. But I lie and shake my head. "No, I haven't slept with him." Another minute passes by. Mali-Koa is the next to stand up, but she hugs me. "If you want to be with Dom, I respect your decision. Whatever makes you happy." Fuck! An angel!

Everyone else luckily supported me. Now all there was left to do, was to leave someone at the altar.

(spoiler alert - I just got done writing the story.)