the roommate contract - todomomo

thirty-six \\ "it's okay to know you deserve better"

(Friday Night) 

Tears pushed at the back of Momo's eyes as the pushed her way into the apartment and her chest ached with the urge to cry, but she held herself in check, blinking away the tears as soon as they threatened to fall. She should've known better. She should have known better. Awase wasn't the kind of guy who steaked his pride on keeping promises.

She shouldn't have been surprised that when she got to their "date" she was met with an empty table. She shouldn't have been surprised that he never bothered to show up. And she shouldn't have been surprised that he sent her a half-hearted apology suggesting they meet up tomorrow. Always tomorrow but never today. She shouldn't have been surprised. 

And on some level, she wasn't. She knew the kind of person Yosetsu Awase was. She had just thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd changed a little bit since they were in high school. But she guessed, not everyone changed the way you wanted them to.

As she entered the apartment, she was met with the sight of Shouto scrolling through his phone while Izuku was about ready to pass out on a textbook and Denki was trying to pick up a chip with just his mouth, a game controller hanging limply from his hands, his eyes still glued to the screen. A soft smile appeared on her features as her eyes welled with tears once again. At least she had them. At least she had Denki and his idiocy and his weird habits. At least she had Izuku and his helpful nature and his sweet temperament.

At least she had Shouto.

Honestly, who needed dates at romantic cafes and rich boyfriends when you had the human version of Pikachu, a freckled angel, and man-whore? 

And she was grateful for them, she really was, but at the moment, it felt like little consolation. Because it hadn't taken her long after she realized Yosetsu was standing her up again to come to the sudden, upsetting conclusion that she'd become exactly who she tried so hard not to be. She had become that girl. The girl who stayed with a man who didn't want her. The girl who was gullible and kept coming back over and over again because second and third chances always paid off, right? She was pathetic. And it kind of sucked. 

But she didn't want to be that girl. And she didn't care that Yosetsu had only pushed their date back a day, she didn't want to keep feeling like she came second. She could understand if he would just tell her why he couldn't meet her, but he insisted on giving vague answers and getting angry when she asked for specifics. He somehow managed to make her feel like the one at fault, made her feel like the possessive one, for asking questions and normal person would. And she hated feeling like the unreasonable one. 

But her mind still wouldn't let go because...because what if this was the best she could hope for? She wasn't going to find the perfect guy, and all he was was irresponsible, right? What if she was judging him too harshly and giving up something good because she was feeling over-sensitive? 

In truth, Momo was scared. She wasn't scared that she would die alone because if she did she would always have her friends and her roommates (hopefully former roommates by then). But she was scared that she had love and she wasn't acting on it. She was scared that she had a good relationship and she was ready to throw it away. She was scared that she found it hard to imagine a future with the person she was supposed to be dating. She was scared that the person she could see loving forever wasn't hers to have. 

So yeah, Momo was terrified. And that fact only made her want to start sobbing as she stood near the doorway, looking at her roommates who had momentarily paused their individual activities to look at her quizzically. She hoped they couldn't see the tears she wanted to cry. She hoped they only saw the soft, fond smile she was giving them.