The Challenge: Total Madness

It's the End of the World As We Know It

After Nelson laid down on the sword for Cory and was eliminated by Rogan, I cannot help but feel like I actually have made friends here. One thing that no one saw the entire season is that despite the drama, fighting, and turmoil that was thrown our way, for the most part, we actually got along. No new feuds, besides maybe Jenny and DN, were formed and a lot of broken relationships were fixed. I am the definition of repairing broken relationships because I came into this season with a lot of anger, hurt, and hatred in me and I can honestly say that I do not feel that way anymore.

Johnny told me before I took his spot that I should enjoy this time on the Challenge because it would give me an opportunity to truly know people at their worst and see if the friendships are worth fighting for and most of them are. I regained a brother and sister in Jordan and Tori, made amends with Rogan for backstabbing him last season and he did the same for trash talking me after the season. I also lost people I thought were good friends before but now realize that I am perfectly okay with just be acquaintances, mainly Josh, Nany, and DN. I have learned so much about myself so far and I actually feel calm about this final, wherever and whatever it is.

I am proud of the game I have played and although it is not the game I thought I would have played, it is better than any game I played before. I loved the idea of being able to separate emotions from game moves and lying to get to the end, but I have now realized that it is okay to mess up as long as you learn from it and don't let it control you too much. I called Taylor, Kaycee's girlfriend, and explained the entire situation and she cannot fault me for what I did. I felt like shit, but she told me that even though it was not executed the way she would have liked, she knew I was doing it from a place of love for her and Kaycee.

We decide to celebrate our last night together before the final and the group decides to go to the same bar we always go to. I look around the bar at the people I am with and am truly grateful to have made it this far, especially with the whole deception of my persona. I am enjoying this moment now, but am thinking about what could possibly happen to hurt my chances at repeating. Out of the four other guys, the one I am most worried about now is Cory. Cory and I have worked together this entire season, so I know where his head is at and he is just as passionate to win as I am.

Nelson volunteering himself to save Cory in tonight's elimination was easily the best thing that could have happened to Cory because he regained his fire. Sure, he has had it the entire time this season, but with Ryder not talking to him, he sort of lost it after he won his elimination. However, seeing someone like Nelson give up his chance at a million dollars to ensure that Cory has the best chance is going to drive Cory further than I think he even realizes. I am not going to doubt Kyle or Fessy because anything can happen in this game and I should know. Kyle has finished third in a final in one of his first seasons and Fessy was nearly a NFL player.

The night goes off without a hitch and I decide to head back early and fall asleep for the night so I am ready to go in the morning. The next morning, at around 7am, I wake up and hear the sirens going off and realize that this is it! This is what I have been looking forward to since I left the final last season. Sure, it is nice to win as a group, but I have won as a solo player in two other countries on three shows and I want to get the trifecta. I did not come here to lose, I came to show not just myself, but the world why I am the baddest motherfucka to ever step foot in the Challenge. 

I know I sound cocky... and I have every right to be. I am on my third season and I have made it to three finals. The last two I finished 2nd and 1st. We arrive at what I assume is the beginning of our final challenge and I am pumped because I might have lived in the States, but I am from Canada, aka the Frozen North! I look around and all I see is snow and mountains and I know we are in for a cold final and I am totally okay with it. I know this final will have some people quit because of the cold and the long trek I feel like we are about to go on.