Repetition Compulsion

26.

The next morning, Sera was woken up by the sound of her phone ringing, and because she was still so sleepy, she picked it up without checking who was calling.

"Hello?" Sera said groggily into the phone.

"Go out with me."

"What?"

"Tomorrow is today and guess what? I'm as sober as they come", Abimbola replied cheerfully from the other end of the phone.

Even though Sera was alone in her bedroom, she still found herself rolling her eyes playfully before answering. "Good morning to you too, Abimbola."

Abimbola chuckled lightly. "Good morning, princess."

"Now...you were saying?"

"Last week I told you I would never ask you out again if you didn't want me to. Well, last night, you clearly stated that you wanted me to ask you out when I was sober. Well, today I'm sober, and I'm still asking you out."

"If you're still saying the same things you were saying last night when you were high, chances are you are probably still high."

"Go out with me again", Abimbola said, completely disregarding Sera's crankiness. "Come on...what's the worst that could happen?"

"I could think of a few things", Sera replied.

"You know everything about me, Sera. I have laid all my cards out on the table, so you know exactly what I want. Hell, I was more honest with you last night than I have ever been with anyone.  What are you so afraid of?"

Sera had to give it to the man: He was relentless in his pursuit. She bit her lip thoughtfully before answering him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure", he replied.

"Why me?"

"Why not you?"

"Because I'm a hole of nothingness and darkness. It will only be a matter of time before I drag you down with me."

"I'm ready and willing."

"Stop it"

"Why?"

"Because you don't know me, or what I'm capable of! You don't know what I've done! If you did know me, I know for sure you wouldn't be saying all this stuff."

"Okay...so help me get to know you. The real you. Go on this date with me, and give me a chance to either prove you wrong or right."

"Why?"

"Because I want you"

"Why?"

"Because my heart says so."

"Well, your heart says stupid things, so I can't let you do this to yourself. I can't let you fall for me, or the idea you have of me. You can fall for someone else...anyone else...just not me, okay? Not me. I'm damaged and imperfect and I don't know how to love...and when I do finally learn how to love, I'm pretty sure I will love funny"

"Well...maybe I'm tired of being loved seriously. Being loved seriously is for average people anyways. Maybe I wanna be loved funny for once."

There was a moment of silence where Sera just sat there in her bed trying to figure out how to answer him, and she probably would have continued to do so for the next hour or so had her phone not flashed, revealing that she had another incoming call from Nahi.

"Listen...I'll call you back, okay?", Sera said whilst fumbling with her phone.

She wasn't deliberately trying to be blunt, but she had no idea what she was supposed to do next. There were a lot of underlying issues going on that Abimbola didn't know about. She was positive that the minute he learned the truth he would go running for the hills.