The Red Song

Chapter 14

I know it's morning. It's probably 10 p.m. by the way the sun is coming in from my window.

But the sunlight doesn't reach me, I can't feel it. I can't feel its warmth.

There's no ocean breeze anymore. No sound of waves breaking on the shore.

It's just another morning in my old empty bed at St. Louis.

I wanted so bad to come home and see my mom. And you would've thought that being home would warm my heart.

Well, as much as being with my mom makes me feel so much better, it didn't warm it enough.

After a week, the feeling of waking up to my old childhood bed, empty, still makes me feel helpless.

I stand, take a look around my light salmon room and take a deep breath. I thank the fact that I completely forgot to cancel my plane ticket since I spent the entire day at the mall looking for clothes to the show and got to come home. Because after everything that happened, coming home was still the best thing I could do, 'cause no matter how tight and heavy my heart feels... today is a brand-new day.

The smell of pancakes coming in from the kitchen makes me smile and want to get out of bed. I take another deep breath and get up to face the day.

My mom is humming one of ABBA's songs when I arrive at the kitchen. I smile wishing I could be like her, she's always in a good mood in the morning... while I'm still in my pajamas.

She has a short curly hair and she's redhead like me, with the same blue eyes. Even though she's at her 40's by now, she still looks great wearing a blue jeans and a white sweater. I wish I can look as great as she does when I'm at her age.

"Oh, good morning, darling! Did you sleep okay?" She takes her eye off the oven to look at me, smiling.

"Yes, I think so. It smells delicious." My voice is still hoarse.

"I thought you might want some pancakes for today..." She turns around, giving me a smile with a little bit of irony in it. "... and maybe tell me what's going on with you, huh?"

I close my eyes, trying to avoid her. "Mom..."

"Oh, come on, darling. You've been back a week and I could barely get a smile out of you. I know something happened in Miami and I hate to see you like this." She turned off the oven and put a pancake in my plate, now facing me so I can't avoid her. "I might be able to help." She puts her hand in my cheek, with warmth.

And I give up, sighing heavily. "Alright, I'll tell you. But you have to promise me not to judge, ok?" I demand.

She smiles. "I could never judge you, sweetheart." She grabs a chair and seats next to me in the balcony. "Now, come on, tell me."

I gasp again. "Okay..." I pause, trying to figure out how I'm gonna tell everything. "I met someone in Miami."

She's looking at me closely. "I kind that figured that out."

"Actually, I've met him before. In Chicago. Claire took me to see a concert..."

She interrupts me. "You met him in a concert? In the middle of the crowd?"

I bite my lip. "Not exactly..." I pause. "He wasn't in the crowd."

She seems confused. "I don't understand..."

"He was in the band. He's the lead singer of this band called Thorn..." I pause again, biting my lip. "... and they're kind of big."

I'm afraid of her reaction, but she doesn't react at all. She just keeps waiting for me to continue. "Oh, okay... So...?"