The tale of Feawen

Chapter 13- a moon lament

One day, I stood in front of my mirror and looked at my reflection. What a change I had made- how desperate I had become; my gown had become black like my soul and my skin had gotten white like snow. I could not even look at it. How could someone still love me, now looking like this?

As I looked at my crown I saw the eight little black moon stones, faded lights, like shadows surrounding my head. The white heart still lighted up, but it was weak like a third star in the sky. My eyes had gotten grey, colourless, lost the oceanwater my love had once talked about and my hair that had once shined like tinted dark gold now hung lifeless around my face, framing it like a colourless curtain. It was like I was looking at my dark version, at my opposite- or at least at the opposite of the person I had been in the beginning, the joyful, bright, pretty sea elf who loved her life, and now I had became my dark, joyless, grieving self.

I could not stand it anymore. I ran outside, looking at the mountains, that once where the way to Mordor, and then looked up to the stars. The fullmoon stood clear on the sky this night, and the stars were shining brighter than before. I felt pain. Not physical pain, but a pain in my mind, of having to leave this world. I was blinded by pain and grief that I could not sleep. Then I began to sing.

Mother, my beloved, why do you not let me go?
I m winding in pain, do you not know?
Why shall not the stars sing for me anymore?
An immortal life was what I was looking for

Mother, my beloved, I am your daughter, your legacy
It was you who once brought me here with a moonlight melody
But where is the reason I have ever been on earth
when my destiny has chosen to be no mirth?

Mother, my beloved, please talk to me
My heart thirsts for hope but there is just wee
stars, my brothers and sisters, do not leave me alone
tales of mother are sung, though her voice is unknown

Mother, my beloved, why did you send me here?
When you knew there was short time til together we were
The sound of my voice is fading, like my soul
My heart is slowly becoming black like coal

Mother, my beloved, hair you once gave to me
is fading, despite the elven immortality
My eyes are losing light of joy, my soul hidden underneath
When it finally comes to my end, I will forget how to breathe

Free me mother, free me!
I m crying in despair and pain!

At the end, I had almost burst out totally and tears. I felt so weak and sad that I almost collapsed, but I suddenly heard the voice that I loved, and the person it belonged to held me in his arms. "Feawen", Legolas said, and the stars seemed to shine sadly in his eyes. "Come. You have to believe. I will always stay with you, to eternity, remember?" And he carried me in his arms, and softly laid me on a bed where I immediately fell asleep.

After just an hour, I suddenly woke up again. When I looked around, I saw that Legolas was beside me and that made me feel better, but my heart was still hurting. He calmly took my hand in his and we looked at each other with memory of all we had faced together in our eyes. "You are my dream", I said.
 

I did not want to leave him. I loved him!

I looked up at the ceiling, so did he. But there was no ceiling. The sky of stars was there instead, and as he caressed my hand softly and as I looked at the stars, I slowly fell asleep, with the feeling of truly being loved.
But I would not wake up the next day to see the sun rise.