"I was in the winter of my life
And the men I met along the road were my only summer
At night I fell asleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them
I was a singer
Not a very popular one
I once had dreams of becoming a beauti...
"Are you sure about this guy? I have a bad feeling about him."
"Really? I think it's nice of him to give two strangers a place to stay."
"You know he's a gangster right?"
"What? No he's not. He's part of some motorcycle club."
Jim chuckles with superiority. "Are you that stupid? Come ooon....look at him. Think a little! Why the hell would he have been at the shooting, talking tooooo...drumroll pleaaase...THE SHERIFF?! They probably have the police department on their payroll."
"No way."
"I'm telling you."
He does seem to have a whole lot of business with the sheriff and the guys were talking about some jurisdiction...but really? A gangster?
"I don't know...he seems like a good person."
"He can be a good person but that doesn't make him not dangerous. Just because he's a pretty boy doesn't mean you should trust him."
"Well it will just be one night. We leave first thing in the morning."
Just as I finish my sentence we pull up to the cabin. It's nice. Seems like a family vacation place.
We get out of the car and grab our bags. Jax runs up to me and takes my luggage. Jim doesn't even notice.
"Thanks Jax. We really appreciate it."
"It's my pleasure."
He unlocks the cabin door and we enter. It's small and cozy. Not too tidy but I can't say I expected it to be any different.
Jax gives us a tour and goes outside for a smoke.
"Can't wait to get out of this dump."
"Please behave Jim..."
"You don't tell me what to do."
"Whatever." I feel my stress levels going up and I'm really not in the mood to argue, so I join Jax.
He looks tired. I guess having a sick kid and problems at work can be really draining. I get an inexplicable need to comfort him or hug him, but I refrain from doing so. It would be inappropriate, I just met him.
"You got a light?"
He pulls out a lighter and lights my cigarette.
"He seems like great company."
"He can be nice when he wants to. He's just tense."
"I get it...Is the cabin ok?"
"It's perfect, really. Thank you so much. I'm just shaken up about what happened at the motel. Who would do such a thing?"
"Someone who could benefit from Charming Height's real estate value going down. Maybe some competitors."
"Seriously?!"
"Yup." He answers coldly.
He looks at me and realises that I'm in shock. "But don't worry. It won't happen again. This was a desperate move, and a stupid one too. Whoever did it put themselves at great risk, they'll probably get caught soon."
He grabs my chin, tilts my head up and looks me in the eyes. "But you're safe here."
I feel an instant connection; I lose myself in his blue eyes for a moment and forget about all of my anxieties.
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It's just me and him. And I kind of wish this moment could last forever.
But then I remember that Jim exists, so I pull back. I could never cheat on him. I love HIM. I don't even know Jax, and even if I did I still couldn't hurt Jim.
He takes a step back and nervously rubbs his hands on the sides of his pants.
"I'll get going then, let you settle in. Call me if you need anything. I'll try to come by in the morning."
"Ok. Thank you again."
I go inside and find Jim laying on the bed, browsing his phone. I sit down besides him and put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"The signal here is shit. Can't even send an email."
"Maybe you should leave it till tomorrow. Spend some time with me...I miss you."
"Look, I really have important stuff to do. If you want to relax just sleep on the couch."
"What?"
"Yeah. I'm bussy."
"What are you doing?"
"Just talking to someone."
"Who?"
"None of your business."
I reach and grab his phone, trying to take it out of his hand. He resists and it gets thrown to the other side of the room, playing a voice message: "I really can't wait for you to be back babe. I miss our hot nights together. When you get here after you get rid of that clingy bit-"
He picks it up and stops it.
I'm speechless. All I can think of doing is running to the bathroom and locking myself in there. I immediately burst into the most painful tears of my life. I can't breathe and my whole head is pulsating, I get sick to my stomach and I want the earth to split and swallow me; to stop existing.
"Come on Lizzy...Look, you know this hasn't been working lately. Don't make me feel like an asshole here, because I'm not."
I don't even listen to him and even if I wanted to I couldn't.
"What we had wasn't love. It was just a profitable relationship."
He gets quiet for a minute.
"I can still be your manager. We make an awesome team. And now even better, you'd have some inspiration for your songs... You know I love you, but as a friend. And we always argue, we aren't good together."
I can't stand to listen to him anymore so I turn on the shower and get in it with my clothes on. What's the point in taking them off anyway?"
He's still talking but I don't hear him anymore. I'm just sitting in the bathtub, hugging myself, numb. I wish I died right here, right now. I start thinking of all the times when I would kiss him and he would reject me and all of the nights I spent alone because he was on "business trips" for the "good of my career". All of the time, energy and emotions that I invested into this relationship were for nothing. And yet I still don't want him to leave me. I still need him more than ever.
"I'll just find some other place to stay at. Give you some time to think about us staying business partners. Call me when you've made up your mind."
I stop the shower and listen. He takes his bags, closes the door and in a couple of minutes starts his car.
I'm freezing but I can't say I care. Now my body feels as numb as my heart. I lay in the bed and cry myself to sleep.
