"I was in the winter of my life
And the men I met along the road were my only summer
At night I fell asleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them
I was a singer
Not a very popular one
I once had dreams of becoming a beauti...
It's been two weeks since the dinner incident and I'm still here. Jax and I have been in a bit of a weird place. The morning after everything, I woke up alone, to a note saying that he had to take care of some things and had to leave early. And we never addressed what happened, just went on with an awkward tension between us, no one brave enough to call out the elephant in the room.
Abel's supposed to come home soon. Is it weird that I'm actually looking forward to it? I haven't talked to Jim or sang since he left...Maybe I should start looking for a new manager. I still miss him and I'm not sure what to do next. I'm considering staying in Charming, looking for a place to rent. It's a very nice town and now I have friends here.
I get along great with the guys. The only one I'm not loving is Clay...I have a bad feeling about him and I've learnt to trust my intuition when it comes to this sort of things.
I uber to the clubhouse to talk to Gemma about helping me find a place to rent and enter the yard at about the same time as the guys are exiting the building.
I want to lift my arm up and wave at them but I get an eerie feeling. The atmosphere is heavy, like there are storm clouds above all of their heads, you could cut the tension with a knife.
Jax lashes out at Clay and they start fighting, really fighting. I look over to Gemma, who runs out of the garage, worried. Right when Jax is preparing to knock Clay out, the guys jump in and get him off of him, leaving the old man laying on the table that Jax pushed him onto.
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Gemma runs to Clay but I still can't move. Jax spits blood, angry while Chibbs and Bobby try to calm him down.
I look over at Clay, and Gemma and Tig are already taking him inside, to patch him up. What was that? My heart is pounding in my chest as I clutch my hands around the handle of the purse I had on my left shoulder.
For a second I make eye contact with Jax and I suddenly get sick to my stomach. I run to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I let it drip from my face onto my shirt as I watch my own shocked reflection in the mirror.
I've never seen Jax like that. His blue eyes were black with rage, he was transformed. Jim's words resonated in my head: "He can be a good person but that doesn't make him not dangerous. Just because he's a pretty boy doesn't mean you should trust him."
I guess I just got to meet the real Jax...Jim was right all along. This is the type of situation I worked so hard not to find myself in since I first left home, but it seems like no matter what I do, the circle of violence follows me. I should've left right after the motel shooting, as my gut was telling me. Well, I'm listening this time. I have to leave.
I exit the bathroom and overhear Gemma and Clay talking:
"I was just trying to pull him closer; his old man's words continue to poison his mind even from beyond the grave."
