Reputation (a Nygma Story)

Getaway Car

There were sirens
In the beat of your heart
(Should've known) should've known I'd be the first to leave
Think about the place where you first met me

I can still hearing his words in my mind..."You are not a monster".

I'm sitting on a chair, listening to the sirens get close to the now empty club. I am shaking, looking at her body laying on the floor. The red blood is coming out of her slowly. She has two shots: one in the chest and one in the head. I put those bullets there... "You are a survivor"... Are you sure, Edward? Why can't I get away from the killer reputation given to me a few months ago... there hasn't been a moment since where I've been clean of those charges in Gotham. I am poison every time I come here...  
I just remember those words after I opened fire to her...

I'm still shaking.

"It's Ethan" Ethan? How could he? He told me he met the redhead days before my framing. She clearly could've gotten close to him for me... I would need so much more prove of that... Could my own brother be behind this? He is not that smart...

The cops start getting inside the room, they are all talking really loudly and fast. They are asking questions, I don't have the energy to really answer to any of them. "Who did it? Please, try to remember" I am in shock still. All I'm able to say is Nygma. "Riddler, Riddler killed the attacker. Probably they had something pending."

They put an orange blanket on my shoulders and escort me outside. I see Ben, behind the precint, waiting for me.

  - I was death worry about you. Why did you stay inside?
  - I found someone I knew. We were talking and I couldn't go outside fast enough.
  - I'm glad we are leaving tomorrow.

We get into his limo. For someone who has a dance company, he always permits himself this kind of luxury that I don't understand.

  - Did you hear was this Riddler guy the one that killed the robber? This city is crazy...
  - I saw it. Can we not talk about it?
  - How could you live in this town for that long? I was about to cancel tonight's presentation, but they pay was good.
  - Who payed you, by the way?
  - The owner... but he told me someone else gave him our information... I guess someone who saw our work in Metropolis.
  - Weird. This city is not precisely known by their interest in art...
  - The place was crowded...
  - Yeah, I noticed.

§ § §

We are silent. We are now in a house, outside Gotham, that belongs to his family. They rarely use this property, only when they are on business, or something like us tonight. It's a big place. Kind of overwhelming.
He is waiting for me to do what we usually do every night: get drunk and have sex. I'm not in the mood. After I saw Ed, nothing can be the same again. I've been runing from my demons. Not that Ed is a demon, but he is tied to all of them.

Nothing scares me more than what I myself know I can do. I've been fighting my instincts to go back to Gotham. Everything pulls me in that direction. I was destroyed when I left. I only had Ethan to protect me, and to keep me company.

All of my friends from Metropolis came back from the grave, I have been partying hard since. There, completely drunk, is where I met Ben. He is a good guy, too naive, too... happy. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe, he is oblivious of the world around him. Handsome... of course. It was tempting.

A few months in, I gave in about my mom's company and started running it. Later, I went back to dancing because it was the only thing that made me feel in control, and quickly, Ben took over that part of my life as well... He wants us to do everything together. It didn't bothered me at the begining, but tonight, I remembered how it feels to control my destiny.

Killing is a horrible thing, but it did awake me. I am more in shock about how I feel about my own revelation, than about Red. She was trying to kill me and I... was able to fight back. Was Riddler right? Did I need that to understand what having my life to myself feels like? I don't believe that, but I do understand the feeling.

All I can do now is to keep myself like this. I don't want to still being asleep.

What should I do now? Probably, I should leave before Ben realizes.

I am looking at the starts in his house's balcony. I'm far away from the city. I would need a car. A getaway car. I have to take my few possessions and get out of here.
Ben has been quite an adventure... He usually sais I blew his mind, but I didn't mean it. We just like to dance and drink together. He was exactly what I needed. I wanted to leave Gotham and Ed behind me, and Ben was the perfect reason. His way of living is everything I was running away from. Eventually, I started to see the world like him. As a happy beautiful place, where I could be as I was before... The easy way of life... not making decisions, just living without worries.
For months I've been lyin' to myself, thinking I have feelings for him, which may be true on some level... but we were cursed  from the begining. We never had a shot.

Everyone says he is madly in love with me. I am everything he has ever wanted... But, he should've known I'd be the first to leave... He was not thinking... I was just drinking. He knew me while I was running... I have to keep moving, now. I have the light of freedom on my face. It's every man for himself, now. My life is tied up with Gotham and I can't keep denying that fact.

While I'm thinking all this, I pack my bags. I write a note and leave it on the bed.

"Don't pretend it's such a mystery
Think about the place where you first met me
We're ridin'
In a getaway car
There were sirens
In the beat of your heart"

I put money in a bag and I stole the keys of his car. This will be the last time he will ever see me.

§ § §

The night is cold. Open. Beautiful. I feel excited. I'm going back to you, Edward Nygma. I owe you my life and my freedom. I'm back on track to becoming the best version of myself. For you and me.

After a few minutes on the highway back to Gotham, the breaks start to fail. I can't slow down. Suddenly, I lose control. That's the last thing I know.