TW: depressive themes
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Q sat in the quiet solitude of his home with thoughts brewing about in his strewn head. There was a sledgehammer cracking at his ribs and a mallet pounding in his brain and all he wanted was for it all to just stop already. His head peeked over the comforter of which he had cocooned himself in to stare at the one item to his name: his joker bust figurine. The night came flooding back vividly into his head, the series of events that left him broken and bitter.
He felt so foolish that he lied to himself for so long that everything was fine. It had grown so exhausting putting on a mask for everyone so they wouldn't worried, and the one person he thought he could open up to honestly didn't care. He was over it, but the cost of it all was becoming too heavy a burden to bear.
His phone chimes and signals an incoming call. Picking it up and looking at the caller ID, he saw that Sal was calling.
"Hey Sal." He says in a hushed groggy tone into the phone.
"Hey buddy, was wondering if you just wanted to hang tonight?" Q shut his eyes, he wanted nothing more than to just sink further into the springs of his mattress until he disappeared, he felt a lack of motivation to try and go out let alone clean himself up to do so. Looking out the window he realized the sun was close to setting, another day had already slipped through his fingers.
"Not feeling it really tonight." He honestly answers.
"C'mon, just a car trip around the island. Get some fresh air. You don't have to really get cleaned up, it's just me." He hears the tone in Sal's voice and knows how worried he is. He's one of the few people that tried to get Q back and up on his feet. Almost every night after he left his fiancé they've either been on the phone, at either of their homes, or out somewhere. It was helping in a way, it helped to cheer him up and distract him a bit. Maybe being alone all the time was a lot more dangerous than being out and miserable for just a little bit.
"Okay, okay. I'll get out of the house for a bit." Q caves and forces himself out of bed.
"I'll be over soon then, okay?" Their call ends and Q's feet finally meet the cold hardwood ground for the first time today. He steps into the bathroom and turns on the lights and is met with his ghastly reflection. His hair was a mop atop his head, dark circles pulled at his eyes, and he hadn't shaved in a little bit but that detail was the least of his worries. He looks into his reflection's eyes and sees nothing but a sense of emptiness and sorrow.
"God what the fuck happened to you?" He speaks to his reflection wanting an answer or a healing solution to the conundrum he's fallen into. He splashes cold water on his face and brushes his teeth to try and change what he can about his appearance. He shuffles out of the bathroom and puts on some half decent clothes, he didn't want to look too disheveled.
As he finished getting himself ready, a knock echoed through the house. He opened the door and there stood Sal with a hoping smile, in his head he was hoping that today was a better day for his best friend.
"Hey Bri, you're looking a little better today." He goes to wrap his arms around the man that stood in the doorway. Q returns the gesture but is slightly scared that Sal might hug more tears out of him, that is if he had any left to release. He pulls away scared that the embrace might lead to spilling emotions.
"Let's hit the road then." They both pile into the car and they were off on the road. Q was silent majority of the ride, unsure of how to add to the conversation without bringing down the mood. So he sat there and listened to the radio and the gibbers that came out of Sal as he spoke and it made him feel almost content. Q kept his eyes out the window watching as the clouds gathered in and sky turned a brilliant sherbet orange with cool grey colored clouds littering the atmosphere. Soon droplets of rain fell from the sky and tapped onto the windshield and grew into a steady drizzle.
Eventually Sal had pulled off over to a scenic tourist spot that overlooked the town and put the car in park. They sat in silence for a moment to take in the sky's ever changing colors as the sun sunk down below the line where the sky and the sea met and watched as the windshield collected more raindrops that slid down once they were too heavy. Q looked out longingly doing some internal soul searching in the quiet.
"I know today is a hard day for you, I can tell." Sal placed a hand on Q's shoulder, Q's gaze never diverted, they remained fixed on the outside world. He felt lost in his mind and was trying to find his way out of the maze, but that meant having to confront all that's been happening and that scared him more than ever.
"I saw it coming, but I ignored it willingly hoping it wouldn't happen. I wanted to hold onto whatever I had left." Q sighed and let out a defeated chuckle. From the moment she called him on that cruise, he just knew that there was a strain. Sal didn't say anything, but he lowered the radio and focused all his attention to the man that sat next to him. "The moment she got in the car when she got home, I just knew. It all just went downhill so much faster than I ever imagined it could. I'm not blaming all of this on her, but boy did this really break me down man." Q begins to feel everything well up and break down all at the same time.
"I'm glad you're talking about all of this, I worry a lot about you, you know. Just know you're not alone in this. It was the calm before the storm. Everything seems chaotic and bleak, but know that this too will pass one day. Maybe not today, but tomorrow's a new stepping stone to being better." A brief silence filled the car as Q tries to hold back tears.
"Sal, have you ever seen the rain coming down like this at sunset?" Soon the heavy waters from his eyes begin to trail down his cheeks, and it felt good, it felt like a release of pent up emotions. "I just want this all to wash away like the rain and end like a sunset." He chokes on his own breath and hides his face in his hands and quietly sobs. Sal rubs gentle circles on his back allowing him to let out everything that he had built up.
"It'll take time to heal, but i'll be with you every step of the way." Sal couldn't stop giving reassurance to Q, it was all he could say and all he could do was hope that Q knew every word he uttered was spoken with honesty and care. He had seen Q broken before, but this was unlike anything he had seen, and he knew Q would need him more than ever.
"I think I need to go to therapy..." Q spoke in broken fragments.
"If that's what will help you, then you're making the right choice. It takes a brave person to get the help they need."
"Sal?" Q lifted his head from his hand to look at Sal for the first time this whole car ride.
"Yeah, Q?" Q's lip quivers and the tears began to fall harder and faster down his face.
"Thank you for being my support. Without you and everyone else with me, I don't know what i'd do." He wraps his arms around Sal and holds him tight. Audible cries slip past his lips, but he had reached a point where he no longer cared, he just wanted to release it all already rather than hold it in any longer.
Until the sun had descended below the horizon, the two remained in the quiet of the car with Q in Sal's arms unraveling emotionally before him. The only sounds they could hear was the pitter patter of the light rain, the hum of the car engine, and the heart-wrenching sounds of Q slowly beginning to heal.
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Vulquinn One-shots
FanfictionA collection of vulquinn drabbles for the soul Warning! Smut inside, will be marked with ⚠️
