Vulquinn One-shots

Kitchen Nightmares

"I can do this, Guy Fieri believes in me." Sal says as he gathers all the ingredients on the counter. Quarantine was finally easing up and both Q and Sal felt as though it was okay to visit each other again in person without Sal wanting to shit a brick over the thought of either of them carrying unwanted germs. They finally decided on a date night tonight and Sal offered to cook so they didn't have to go out. This naturally took Q by surprise and Sal was determined to prove Q wrong and that he can cook.

They both had decided and agreed on breakfast food, Sal would have made his infamous griddled peanut butter and jelly but he knew how Q felt about peanut butter. So after a little brainstorming, he settled on making omelettes for the two of them with hash-browns. Simple and easy, it's gonna be very hard to screw this up. He dusted off the apron Joe had gotten him years ago as a joke gift and put it on wanting to fit the role, and Sal had to admit the apron boosted his confidence in a strange way. He finally felt like he fit the role and as though he could conquer the challenge.

He double checked the time and confirmed that dinner should be ready by the time Q had arrived. He decided it was time to get cooking and put his skills to the test.

He had his phone out on the counter and he read and re-read the recipes Guy had sent over to him to the point where he was sure he had it memorized step by step. He pulled out the potatoes, rinsed them off, peeled them, used the grater to get the thin strips, soaked them and dried them off.

"See Sal, you're practically a chef already. You can do this!" He speaks positivity unto himself as he feels his confidence shoot through the roof and grins from ear to ear. He ducks down and cluttered through his pots and pans cabinet and finds a pan for the hash browns and another to cook the omelettes on the stove. He cranks up the heat on the stove and continues working, "Butter in, melt that bitch, and potatoes in. Let that sit and I can start my omelette!"

He turns around and grabs a bowl, his eggs, and the add ins. Feeling full of himself, he swiftly grabs an egg and hits it on the side of the bowl.

"Shit!" He hit the egg too hard not being mindful of his own strength and now it's spilling all over the counter with yolk seeping down onto the floor. In a panic he quickly grabs paper towels to rid the area of the evidence of his mistake. With the area cleaned up, he attempts again, but cracks the egg just a little softer this time. He carefully cracks it open and the egg spills perfectly into the bowl with some egg shell accidentally sneaking its way in. "Crap." He curses to himself as he takes his hand to take out the annoying bits of imperfection, he keeps fishing around the egg whites but the shells keep escaping his grasp as he grows increasingly frustrated at the time he's losing.

Finally after cleaning that mistake up, his nose starts to fill with the scent of burning food, he whips his head around and sees a light grey cloud of smoke rising from the hash browns that were still cooking on the stove. In a frenzy he runs back over to the stove and flips the burning potatoes to see his worst fear: a mistake he couldn't fix. The hash browns were a lot more than just brown on the bottom, they were as dark as the color on the pan and he knew he couldn't salvage that piece of the meal. He places the pan back on the stove off the heat and sighs in defeat knowing he doesn't have enough time to redo them.

"You know what, that's okay. Still have the eggs!" Going back to the eggs, he sighs but isn't quite yet defeated. He continues to stir in green onions, diced tomatoes, and a little sprinkle of cheese. As he whisked it all together he went back to the stove and in the other pan poured in the new made concoction. As the mixture touched the hot pan it made a sizzle sound. The scent of all the ingredients danced together perfectly to create a fresh smell that overtook the previously lingering charred scent of the burnt hash browns.

With his mood slowly taking a better turn again, Sal hummed away as he watched the omelette cook with spatula in hand. As he was distracted by what seemed to be his first successful attempt at cooking something outside of his comfort zone, Q had managed to quietly find his way into the house. As soon as he entered he was hit with a mixture of pleasant and unpleasant smells.

"No fuckin' way." He finds himself wandering more into the quiet house to investigate. As he got closer to the kitchen, the scent of food got stronger and stronger and made Q's mouth water. The moment he turned the corner into the kitchen he saw Sal at the stove smiling and humming away with that stupid apron on. Though a little ridiculous and a bit extra for the occasion, Q still found it absolutely adoring that Sal took the extra step into the role. "Well look at you!" Q says loudly interrupting Sal's focus. Sal jumps out of his skin at the sound of Q's voice. Being halfway through flipping the omelette, his arms flail frantically sending the last remaining piece of his meal down to the floor with a 'splat.'

"Brian! Don't do that shit." Q's hand was over his mouth and he felt a wave of shame and guilt as he stared at the food that was now resting at their feet.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't think I would scare you that bad." He kneels down and helps Sal clean up the mess. Sal was notably quiet and Q knew he messed up when he didn't mean to. "I'm sorry you must have worked hard on this."

"Bri. I tried, I really did. I just wanted to make you a nice meal after not being able to see you for so long. It all just went wrong." Sal says defeated and 100% over cooking. Q looks over to the counter to see some left over ingredients, enough to make a whole new meal. As Sal stood over the trash can to dispose of the remains of his messy cooking attempt, Q grabs Sal's waist and looks him in his sad hazel eyes.

"Hey, let's try this again together. Don't give up, it's just a little learning curve. Besides that last mistake was entirely my fault anyway." Q gathers up the materials and Sal smiles to him a little.

Together in the kitchen, Sal led and Q followed. The prep was twice as fast and this time Sal made sure to be aware of his surroundings and also to keep his eye on whatever is cooking on the stove. Soon they were sat at the table eating dinner and talking about their time in quarantine, poking fun at the other's unruly outward appearance after going months without a hair cut and a shave. When their meal had come to an end they cuddled up on the couch stealing soft kisses from each other.

"I want you to know, chef Sal, that was pretty good for what I assume is your first attempt at something that isn't a griddled PB and J." Sal was all giddy and couldn't stop smiling and the small compliment from his lover.

"Well it wasn't just me, it was you too Chef Q who came in to save dinner." Q rolls his eyes, he was never really good at taking compliments but it did make him feel good since it came from Sal.

"I hope this means maybe you'll be cooking more often?" Q purposely avoids eye contact with Sal, focusing only on the TV to avoid laughing. But he can't help it as the edges of his lips upturn slightly and he look to Sal who has a look of scorn that only made it harder for Q not to smile.

"Glad you think it's funny Brian." Guess that answered that then.