Vulquinn One-shots

Friends With Benefits (Part 2)

It's been a few days. I haven't spoken to him since our grand incident in the parking lot after 3 measly words managed to slip past my lips. I didn't mean for them to, but how could this surprise him at all? I had only spoken to Joe and Murr since then because I didn't want them thinking that something was going on, heaven forbid Brian's fragile ego took another blow because of me. I just sat at home alone, I went about my day, but the anger never subsided. I just couldn't believe everything he said to me.

"The world doesn't revolve around you princess." That was the line that got me. It felt like I was being gutted and torn inside out. He didn't even bother saying anything, he didn't even try. He got into his car and left without saying much else. Part of me really hoped that he would have some semblance of sanity or something of a brain to try and apologize for what he said, but instead he played it off saying 'that's not what I meant.' Didn't mean to discount my feelings? Sure.

I felt used, hurt, and crushed.

So here I am sitting on the couch of my house, those memories being the only thing playing in my head on loop. No matter what I watch, no matter what I try to distract myself with, it can't seem to drown out the intrusive thoughts, the overwhelming emotions, the absolute agony I felt simmering in the unresolved conflict.

Everytime a knock struck the door or the doorbell rang, it was like a game of russian roulette. Was it going to be a sad and downtrot Brian, a Brian seeking sexual pleasure again, a package, a friend, or a relative? And each time that I answered the door, I risked a bullet being placed between my teeth and the universe waiting for me to weigh my decisions and bite the bullet or turn my back. So when I stood at the door with my hand on the knob, my heart began to race and I took a breath before I opened it.

Secretly, I always hoped that it would be Brian. No matter how mad I was, I still missed him, I still loved him. I think those feelings were the only sense of damage control I had, the only thing stopping me from sabotaging anything further and leaving only rubble behind.

When I looked into the eyes of the mystery person on my doorstep, I felt a sinking sensation. Was it anxiety? Sadness? Nostalgia for times where things weren't the way it was? I couldn't quite tell at the time. But I know for sure that I missed those poor brown eyes. I had to stand my ground though, I wasn't going to crawl back so fast, let him take advantage of my vulnerability, or let my heart get in the way of sensibly and reasonably handling the situation we had dangling above our heads.

"Sal..." Just a single word, my name. I took a moment to try and calm the storm that's raging in my head to allow myself to have a sense of stability. I took a moment and a single word came out:

"Yes?" His eyes were darting everywhere, mostly at the floor before him. His hands were fidgeting endlessly. He seemed sober, which is a step above any other time I've seen him handle any emotional conflicts.

"I needed to see you... I wanted to talk... About the other day." His eyes wanted to be let in, and I caved and stepped out of the way to let him in. I closed the door behind us, and when I turned around, he grabbed my face and our lips were connected. I quickly created a divide between us, scared that this was going to go down a route that would only lead to long term damage.

"Brian, you said we should talk. For once, do not try and do the whole 'makeup sex' thing. This is serious." I set down the boundary and he looked even more guilty.

"I just missed you..."

"I missed you too, but you did a lot of damage Bri, and it still hurts." We sat on either side of the couch, a reasonable distance between us even though deep down all I wanted was to feel the warmth of his embrace again, kiss him again, and have everything and see everything I used to before it all fell apart.