Morphed

Chapter 25

That hell that broke loose was me. I ran blindly into the hospital with Gavin trailing me.

"Where's Andrew Roberts?" I asked the woman at front desk frantically. She searched through her papers.

"Are you related to him?" She questioned, not looking up.

"I'm his fucking sister, now where is he?" I snarled.

"Critical care unit, room 214." My heart dropped. Critical?

"Who are you?" She asked Gavin.

"Brother." She saw the lie but let us go.

We ran hand in hand and I pretty much busted down the door. "Andrew!" I sprinted across the room but slid to a stop. "Uh, sorry. Wrong room." I told an angry looking older man with about five tubes in him.

"Better be." He mumbled. We turned around and I slammed the door shut, jogging one room over. I pulled open the door quickly, but I was afraid of what I'd find.

"Andrew?" I whispered, slipping in. Gavin followed suit.

The only sound that escaped me was a gasp. His heart rate machine was beeping slowly, his eyes closed, cuts covering his face and wrists.

I wanted Gavin to leave. I just wanted to be with my brother. "Gavin? Could you..."

"Of course." He said softly, retreating from the room.

"Andrew? Can you hear me?" I just now noticed a nurse in the corner of the room.

"We have him drugged up a lot. I'm sorry... He's not going to make it." She choked out. "Josh Roberts was here and we were about to cut him off... If you want to keep him on the machines we can... Again, I'm really sorry."

"I don't want your damn sorry." I spat, tears threatening to spill. I felt my cheeks and realized they had already begun. "Just leave me alone."

"Okay." She left quickly.

"Andrew?" I asked for the millionth time. I choked on a sob in my throat. "I know you're not okay, but you're a fighter, right? So you can make it through. You can do it, I know you well enough. I love you... I know they say to let go of what you love, but I can't let go. I can't fucking let go. And no one can make me. You just... Fight. Keep fighting, you asshole. If you leave me..." Tears streamed down my face, my nose ran, everything. I was out of control. "You can't. You can't is the thing. And you aren't. I'll be right here until you wake up.

"Why have we done this before?" I laughed dryly, thinking back to when he was in a coma. "I'm serious though, Andrew, when you wake up, I'll be waiting." I placed my hand on his stomach when I felt something raised above his skin. I quickly ripped his robe there. Cuts were all over, and I covered my mouth before I threw up.

"You're next", the incisions read.

"Fuck." I whispered. My eyes spilled everything I've been fighting. My body wracked with sobs and I didn't notice Gavin's presence until his arm was around me. He was crying too.

"Read his stomach." I forced out. He read it and his eyes widened fearfully, but he quickly covered it up. Tears stained his cheeks and we fell into each other, crying for this boy we so dearly loved. I didn't know I could endure this much in a lifetime. And my lifetime only seemed to be about a year, because I didn't remember any further back.

"Say goodbye to him, Gavin." I sobbed quietly.

"He's not... He's not dying." Gavin's voice was strong for having just cried.

"No, he's not. You're right." I muttered. "He's going to be okay. His heart is still beating. He'll be okay." It's sad how deep down, you can't admit to yourself that you're losing one of the most important people to you. You literally cannot and will not tell yourself they're leaving, and not coming back.

"I'll come back." Gavin exited the room, giving me one last glance.

"I wanted to make you happy." My shell was breaking. "But I tried, didn't I? You promised, Andrew. You promised you wouldn't leave, but you fucking are. Right now, you're leaving me. Some people say there's a reason for everything, but there's no reason for this. No reason at all." I licked my chapped lips and attempted a deep breath. I failed, but it was worth a shot. "I can't even say goodbye, well I can. But it's the same as talking to a wall. Maybe you can hear me? If you can, say goodbye back. Please, Andrew. Just a goodbye. No, not even that. Just a see you later.

"So I guess that's all I'll say. See you later, bud, I hope you know I love you so fucking much. Stay macho, I'll always be your 'kid'. Remember when you called me that on the first day of school? It's not even that funny anymore, but it's all I have of you. I'm already forgetting your voice. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but maybe my talking will heal you... I'm just kidding, it's annoying as hell but maybe it will fuel you to keep fighting." I choked out. Tears were coming like waterfalls out of my eyes. "Okay, see you. Love you." I paused, about to get up. "It's okay to let go." I pushed myself up slowly and strode out. Gavin brushed past me in and returned a few minutes later.

"I said see you later." My voice surprised me.

"I did too." Gavin admitted in a broken whisper. We hugged for a long time. I was afraid if I let go, I would lose everything, like I was about to.

"Are you ready for me to turn off his... Support?" The nurse asked.

"Ask Josh." I sobbed.

"He said yes... I'm so-"

"Stop with the fake sorries!" I screamed, shoving my head into Gavin's chest. It was all too real.

It's funny when people tell you monsters and demons don't exist. Because it's obvious they've never experienced the true nature of humans.

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This chapter was very heavy, and I'm sorry for your loss to all of you Andrew lovers!!

- log