Back home • boyxboy

Separated

Trigger warning
Domestic abuse

Benjis pov

After jorge and I hugged I decided I was going to head home

I felt guilty about hugging him, sure.

But I felt the most guilt for what I said, or what I had admitted

"I don't love him, someone who's never done any wrong, and I still love you. And I can't fucking figure out why."

The words were still echoing off the walls of my head, like and empty cave filed half way with water

But I had driven home. It was around eleven pm now, surly my mother was asleep.

But , I was proven wrong, when I opens the front door and saw her sitting on the couch.

Her eyes were puffy, and she was staring blankly at the wall.

"Mom?" I said, walking towards her, and seeing her face more clearly.

She had definitely been crying. It hurt that I had no idea over what.

"Hi, benji. " She said, a weak smile over her pale lips.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting down on the couch next to her.

She looked at me, and a sad laugh escaped her lips.

"Your father is such a disappointment, I mean, truly." She said.

My heart sunk.

She hadn't talked about him since I was about eight years old.

He used to abuse her, cheat on her, drink all night and end up in a bar, asleep.

He would come home in the middle of the night and scream, banging on the door, waking both of us up.

And when she opened the door, he'd grab her by the hair, and throw her against the wall.

I'd have to watch, a defenseless kid witnessing someone hurt the person he loved most.

I've hated him since the day I was born.

I don't think she ever got the courage to hate him.

"What did he do?" I asked, and he eyes began to water, and spill over.

"He called here, a week ago. He asked for forgiveness, told me he was going to change. He said he wanted you back in his life and I-" she paused, a wrecked song escaped past her lips.

I leant forward and wrapped my arms around her small frame, as she sobbed into them.

"I'm so stupid, I believed him. So I had been seeing him on secret these past seven days, and it was fine, I thought. But apparently he had a new conquest in mind. He chose her." She said. There were no tears now.

It was just silent tears rolling down her porcelain face.

"Mom, you don't deserve that. You are the kindest person I've met, and you are so much better than him." I said.