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Jorge's pov
It was my official second day of school, I guess. The first wasn't all that great but I was set on making today better. That's what life's about, I suppose.

I didn't want to dress upset anymore. Maybe that makes no sense but like, constant plain t-shirts and sweat pants? That's dressing upset to me. I dress that way when I'm so absolutely defeated with the world, that every level of my confidence has been broken down, enough that I can't wear what I love. I've been wearing that for the past few months, it was time to stop.

I had my nicer clothes, obviously, I just never wore them. Today's the day. A new start. New possibilities, plus I was just jealous of how cool syd looked with his checkered skirt and bright hair, that I wanted to show I wasn't a sad slob.

I wanted to dress confidently. So I did.

I had bought a black sweater a few years back, I used to wear it a lot in the winter. Now, it's not that cold but , you must sacrifice comfort for beauty.

I pulled on the black turtle neck, and grabbed my purple plaid dress over it. It was thin, soft, and I liked the cut.

I pulled on black leather boots and put on a heart necklace.

I looked in the mirror, I already looked more like myself.

You have no idea how emotionally draining it is to see yourself in mini skirts and crop tops, and one day at 3 am when you wake up to pee, you see your reflection.

And it's you with frizzy hair, instead of curly, red shot eyes, and baggy clothes on.

It's awful. I'm glad I look better, even just a little.

I walked out into the dining room and saw carter eating a bowl of cereal.

I smiled, and he did too, his mouth full of Cocoa Puffs. I grimaced, and felt my stomach growl.

He pointed to the seat across from him. There sat a white ceramic bowl, with the same Cocoa Puffs poured into it.

I smiled, going to the seat and sitting down. I grabbed the milk that was sitting beside the bowl, and poured it over my cereal.

This felt weird, but oddly calm, and nice. Usually,  at Lancaster academy,  in the mornings I would go to the cafeteria and get a breakfast bar.

Abby would eat with some of her new friends, xowie never woke up on time. Noen, was with Abby too, I guess they are a thing now. Olivia ate with me sometimes, but not much.

So it was me, in the crowded cafeteria, a half unwrapped breakfast bar, by myself in the corner of the room.

I would look out the window and watch the different ways the sun would shine on the cement, burning the picture into my mind forever, probably.

But, I would hear constant chaos. Everyone around me in their groups, with their friends, and their relationships.

And me , alone.

It's funny, how you can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. It's weird how that works.

I blinked out of the memory, eating my Cocoa Puffs and drinking the milk at the end that remained.

I grabbed my backpack and was on my way out the door.

"Hey, wait." Carter said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

"How much did you pay for the blunt?" He asked, referring back to when he promised to pay me how much money I paid for the blunt, as long as I promised to throw it away.

I looked down at my feet.
"Uhm, twenty-five, I think?" I replied, shameful.

Smoking weed is fine, I know that. There's not much harm that comes from it. But abusing it? Using it for the sole purpose of trying to fix your anger? Not good, not cool, not safe.

He pulled a twenty dollar bill and a five dollar bill out of his wallet, and handed it to me.

"Thank you for cooperating so easily. I don't mean to be a cop or anything like that, I just care for your safety. Alright? I love you, Jorge." He said, sternly.

Love. He loves me.

I question how a person with so little information about me who has been in my life for only a few years, years ago, could love me?

Is he just saying it because we're blood? Does he feel he has to say it?

I stayed speechless, my hands at my side.

He seemed to realize my thoughts, as he probably once had the same ones.

"You don't have to say it back. Don't feel pressured to, I'm just letting you know. Now, let's go. I'll drive you." He said, throwing his keys up in the air and catching them as they fell back down.

We walked out the door and got into his car. He started it and we drove to the school.

He parked at the front, and let me out of the car.

I got out, shuttling the door and immediately catching a sight I didn't want to see.

It was benji, helping Ben out of his car, and some boy with black hair crawling out of the back seat.

Benji locked his hands with ben's, and the boy with black hair started laughing.

He looked so happy, without me.

I can't be doing this. I can't be the one feeling guilty. I'm the one who fucked up. I broke up with him in an awful way, leaving him alone.

He wasn't alone, he found Ben.

Yeah, well I wasn't alone either. I fucked with tons of guys in an effort to replace Benji. But it didn't work, and now I'm repeating my emotions over and over again like a broken record.

Fuck, I miss him.

He looked up and caught my eyes. He looked at each other with steady eye contact.

His happy smile turned into sad eyes, he brought his hand up, wiping his eyes, and he dropped bens hand.

I didn't know what to do, or say. So I turned around, walked into the school and disappeared into it.

I ran away from my emotions, just like I always do.

-
Hi guys I'm sorry it took a long to update , this was more background on jorge, and more storyline for him

Also I got a Benji notice on Twitter 🥺

Anyway I love you guys and I hope you enjoyed <3