to be continued...

17

dear self,

thank you

  for never getting tired of me

  of the nights i spent awake thinking, wondering, worrying about so many things

  how were you able to keep up?

  of the days i wasted staring at the ceiling, walking towards open spaces, sighing inaudible words

  how were you able to keep up?

  of the times even i don't understand myself, of the times my brain could not even voice out what's going on in there, of the times i had no idea what to do with just about everything

  how were you able to keep up?

thank you

 because

  you were always so strong, so brave, so firm even if the world is telling you to give up already

  you were always so willing, so eager, so patient even if at times i no longer want to stay here

  you were always so honest, so humble, so silent even if they're mocking you to just leave already

thank you 

  for keeping up with me

  i pray to god that he'll grant you more strength to keep going

  i pray that you won't stop

  i pray that you won't break apart

because

  you are where i go to no matter what the state of my heart is

because

  you are the reason why i am still here

because

  you are my home.

Jannah