Rosa's Affair

CHAPTER 2

2012

Rose Love Paul

I was scared to death. All the world would wait for the upcoming new year. But in my case, that's not an issue, I was in a cold sweat visualising 2012. I couldn't have fun this new year because everyone covering my cousins knows about the plans and preparations of Kiran. Valentine's day is going to be the death day of my life, Kiran would surely make a scene in front of everyone. I need more time and I don't know why I need more time. Do I love Kiran? Yes! Then why couldn't I accept our relationship in a more welcoming manner? I was shaken thinking about this year, but somehow I consoled my mind saying some good things for myself.

And then the day I waited, nothing happened. Kiran didn't fire the question and I felt more impassive than ever. Everyone around us celebrated valentine's day, but I didn't and Kiran didn't even take a step after that. One part of me felt happier that I made a run from this thing, but an additional part of me beseeched Kiran more than anything and I couldn't explain the happenings. Kiran started avoiding me in every way and all started noticing the strange behaviour of Kiran including Jasper. In the end, many acquisitions were thrown at my pathway and again I was pushed around one corner not having anyone to share what I felt at the juncture. Some days I tried to give my best shot to Kiran explaining myself, but what should I explain?

I love you Kiran and also...I don't love you. Who would accept this kind of logic? Even my own mother won't accept this, then how is it possible to explain this logic to other people who are at my level. Still and all, one good thing was people stopped pestering me even in lunch breaks, some days I would sit like a loner eyeing the empty board, despite all this I also enjoyed this solitary which gave me time to presume about my dear Kiran. Kiran is always accompanied by a bunch of fellow classmates unlike me. We both are exact opposites and that's why everyone thought, opposite attracts.

In the study of physics, there's something called The Law of Attraction: that opposites attract. A positively charged particle will repel other positively charged particles, but attract particles with a negative charge.

But sadly what I am talking about is not physics and even if it is, I don't care because life is not a magnet to attract every time and I know it very well. The only thing is, even if I say the opposite doesn't attract me, nobody would believe me, so I kept it myself.

After four months of giving a cold shoulder to me, one day I saw an opening in my house. It was in June, Kiran was sitting on the porch talking with my mum while I entered my house after finishing my piano practice. Noticing Kiran, I gave a small smile showing my welcome. My mom gave us space and went to the kitchen leaving us alone.

"Rose! Do you know why I can't stay mad at you?" Kiran paused for a moment. "Because of this smile, even if it is small...I can feel the love you have for me."

I didn't expect this from Kiran, I know Kiran would come sooner or later but I didn't expect this coming so soon. Every time we argue, Kiran would come behind me and I don't know why I don't try to convince my point, maybe I'm expecting Kiran not to fall in love with me or...

"What are you thinking Rose? Am standing in front of you, won't you at least say something?"

"What should I say?" I asked, waiting for the reply.

"Say something nice, anything nice...Rose. Is it too much to ask from you?"

I am versed Kiran would say this, no matter when after the fight, this is how we used to go to the next phase of our relationship or Kiran would consider us in the next stage of the relationship. I remember the first time Kiran expressed a different kind of feel around me, I didn't know Kiran was in love with me. It was in ninth grade, heart-to-heart I distinguished the feelings of Kiran, it's just I pretended not to know it. But as days passed I couldn't ignore it, before I could come to a conclusion I was labelled as Kiran's Rose by every single person in my school. Adding to it, my parents took a liking to Kiran which also added to my desolation.