But We're Not Normal

Restless

Clay couldn't sleep. George was so close, all he had to do was walk a few steps down the corridor and he'd be at George's door. George was so close and yet he'd never felt so far.

When Clay had spotted him standing there, soaking and swaddled, he'd felt his heart shatter. George's eyes were still softly red raw, a testimony to just how much he must of cried. He was wet through, head to toe, and his hair was dampened to his forehead. He had looked so spaced out, so far away, as he stared at Clay. Almost as though he was staring straight through him. The way he shook as Nick guided him away made Clay's skin crawl with the need to just hold him and make everything okay.

But nothing was okay. Not a single thing. And it was all his fault. Clay had fucked up and he had fucked up badly.

This never would have happened had he been more careful. Had he fought a little stronger, tried a little harder, cared a little more, maybe George would still be his. Had he not been such a coward, so afraid of what Damien may have done, then he would have just been able to announce that he wasn't attracted to Keres at all. He would have been able to talk to George anyways, disregarding Damien's wants. He would have been able to save George so much hurt and confusion. He would be able to walk from his room to George's, lift the covers and slide into bed behind him. He'd be able to curl against him, press a kiss to his shoulder and whisper 'I love you's into his skin until he fell asleep. He'd be able to sleep at all in the first place.

Across the hall, another room was left just as restless.

"You still up?" Nick whispered towards the ceiling. The words hung in the air for a moment before they were joined by a soft shuffling, Vincent turning to lay on his back as well. The action pressed their arms together warmly as Vincent hummed an affirmation.

"Just.. thinking." Vincent supplied by way of explanation. Nick turned his head to take in the side of Vincent's face.

"About?" He prompted, bringing the arm that wasn't pressed to Vincent's up under his head. Vincent turned to meet Nick's gaze.

"I explained myself to you but I never... never apologised." Vincent responded quietly, trying to figure out whether Nick's wide blown pupils were because of him or the lighting. "I should of... I don't know, tried harder? I should have fought Damien, I should have found a way to talk to you. I shouldn't have let him control me, let alone the whole band."

"I should have stood my ground and made Clay see reason. I should have convinced him not to see Keres that day, maybe then he would have been able to call George and explain before anything happened that they were being put up to it. Keres is a good person at heart and she has nothing but good intentions, I don't regret becoming her friend, but I regret not trying harder to get Clay to talk to George first." Vincent sighed and Nick admired the way his long eyelashes rested on his cheeks for a moment before rising again. Vincent's hand tentatively reached for Nick's and clasped it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you for a week, I'm sorry for letting this happen to you and to George and I'm sorry for not trying harder." Vincent whispered into the slowly decreasing space between them. He felt Nick's warm breath fanning over his lips and it took every piece of his self control not to stare.

"I forgive you." Nick replied. He didn't quite have the self control Vincent had and he watched, mesmerised, as Vincent's tongue grazed over his bottom lip.

"You shouldn't." Vincent breathed shakily, having realised exactly where Nick's eyes were fixated.

"And yet, here we are." Nick murmured, letting his gaze slowly trail from Vincent's lips up to his eyes. The request was wordless, and the answer just the same, but both boys heard it.