But We're Not Normal

Empathy

After an awkward moment of silence in which Clay stared at his hands, they decided to move from the bathroom to the sitting room again. Keres let him go first, quietly explaining that she'd pack away. When she joined him in the sitting room, she held a damp rag in one hand.

Clay whispered a thank you as Keres cleaned the dried blood off of the wooden floor. After she was certain it was clean, she returned the rag to the bathroom - not really knowing where else to put it - and sat beside Clay. There was an awkward distance between them.

"So... what happened?" Keres asked softly, by way of breaking the tense air. Clay sighed, slouching back into the couch and covering his eyes with his hands.

"First, you have to promise that you won't repeat any of this, you won't use it against me or anyone and you won't judge me for it." Clay requested, listing the terms on his fingers. Keres' eyes were tinged with fear but none the less earnest when she nodded.

"I'll sign a confidentiality contract if you want." She joked lightly. Clay gave a small, shaken smile in response before dragging his hands over his face, mentally preparing himself. When he pulled the bandages away, they were tinted with foundation from his tear tracks. Great.

"I'm sure your manager has mentioned it too but Damien... Damien wants us to have a contracted relationship." Clay managed to get out, glancing at Keres to gauge her reaction. She gave a small, sad smile.

"Yeah, my manager has talked about it." She confirmed quietly, waiting for Clay to continue. Clay nodded absently.

"Well I don't- I'm not- I cant.. do that." Clay stuttered. "I can't lie to the fans like that, I can't lie to myself like that, I can't lie to you like that, I can't... I can't lie to him like that." Keres looked surprised and almost torn for a moment before spurring him on with a nod.

"It's not- it's not anything you've done. You're great and beautiful and everything and in another life I probably would of but in this one... I can't." Clay continued, feeling the way the words scratched his chest.

"Damien relies on me so much to do all of the work for the band and the others do try and help but... god, I'm so fucking stressed from it all. So stressed that I said I'd let people think we're together just to get him off my back. That's why V- A6d's not here; we had another fight because he was being smart and giving good advice and I didn't want to hear it." Clay groaned, struggling for the right words to say. Struggling for how much was okay to tell her.

"Shit... you have to- you have to promise you won't judge me. Promise you won't say any of this again." Clay demanded, rounding on Keres. Keres flinched back with wide eyes, rapidly flicking between each of Clay's. She raised a shaky hand, pinky extended. Clay looked at it for a moment, sceptical, before linking their pinkies.

"I promise." Keres whispered, heart hammering.

"I can't... I can't do a fake relationship because I'm already in a real one. And, God, I'm so glad that I am... they make me so fucking happy... but we have to hide. We have to, otherwise Damien would exploit it and- And- And the media and fans would attack them.. I can't risk it... " Clay clutched at his arms, trying desperately not to dig his nails in.

"But... Damien knows about how much I talk to them and..." He could feel his airways tighten. "He wants them gone. He wants me to stop talking to them because- because they're a distraction- because they're bad influence but they're not." Clay looked between Keres' eyes, praying she understood.