Becoming Brett

9. The Chem Room

I shove my hands into James chest, dislodging my lips from his and shush him. My hearts beating out of control and fear creeps along my spine because I swear I just heard Wes. But he should be in the music room.

"Get down." I whisper at James.

He doesn't believe me, rolling his eyes but complying anyway. He sinks to his butt, drawing his long limps in as much as possible as he hides behind the two person chem counter.

"This is stupid." He whispers back.

Every second that passes, my heartbeat slams through body so hard I swear it might knock me off balance. I'm terrified to be caught with James. Not because I'm ashamed of him but because I'm ashamed of me.

"Can I get up?" James pesters me quietly, tugging on the pant leg of my jeans.

"Shhh."

And no sooner does the noise leave my lips, Wes appears in the door way.

"Hey." At least I've gotten good at hiding the fear in my voice. "No music room?"

He does his normal set of tics, dropping his bag on a table. "Sawyer and his friends were in the (whistle) hall, didn't want to risk it."

I'm about to kick James, his relentless tugging on my jeans is annoying. I already know what he's thinking. He's been begging me to let him tell someone. But I can't. I shouldn't even be seeing him in secret.

Wes makes his way deeper into the chem room, he's anxious, I can feel it wafting off of him and his frequency in tics proves it.

"Can you do me a favor?" I ask, pulling my wallet from my pocket.

I'm already plotting on how to distract Wes so I can get James out of the room undetected. Rifling through the little bit of cash I have in my wallet, I pull out a couple singles.

"Fuck!" Wes shouts. "Sure."

"Can you go grab me a pop." Dropping the cash on the table I add "get one too if you want".

The best thing about Wes is he's not skeptical, he doesn't question people or their motives. He never questions anything I ever say to him. It's left me with residual guilt.

He grabs the cash and heads for the door. I feel guilty that I'm lying to my best friend. I've been lying to him for years. I watch his retreating back tic before he disappears out the door, count to ten slowly then look down at James who's sitting at my feet smiling at me.

"You are gonna get us caught." I scold him.

He clambers to his feet, his massive build towers me but he's the gentlest person I know besides Wes.

"Would that be so bad?" He asks.

I can't answer his question though. I know how it'll sound if I say yes. And he knows why we can't. Why I can't.

"Come on, you need to go before Wes comes back." I grab his hand and his bag that is sitting on the floor and start tugging him toward the door.

James is always playful and now is not an exception as he fights me, pretending like he forgot how to walk. He's spouting out reasons why he should stay. That it doesn't matter if Wes comes back and he's here but I don't need anything raising suspicions. James being in the chem room with me after school would definitely raise alarms. Maybe not to Wes but I can't have him saying something and Ellie finding out.