Becoming Brett

42. What Happened

My entire body trembles as I suck in a breath, my fingers clamped around the doorknob to Wes's front door. My backpack hangs heavy on my shoulders, filled with only a handful of things I took from my room.

I don't know where else to go.

So I shove open the door and over the threshold to what's been my second home.  I don't even manage to get my shoes off before Wes notices me from where he's parked at the piano.

"Hey, I didn't....you okay?" 

He stands from the bench just as I start to unravel right in his foyer. My eyes fill with tears, breaking through any barrier I might have had as I shake my head no. I let my bag fall to the floor with a thud.

"What happened?"

A sob rips out of me, shielding my face with my hands. All I want to do is tell Wes everything, the truth. I want to hug him and have him hug me back. I want to apologize for all the times he needed that distraction of touch and I didn't help him because I was too worried about someone finding out I was gay.

But Wes has never once cared if anyone thought he was, boldly accepting anyone's hand and affection regardless of the way it looked.

And he doesn't hesitate now as I stand weeping in his door way. He wraps his arms around me, my head bent low, buried in his chest.

"Whatever it is, it's okay."

It's not okay though. My dad hates me. He thinks I'm disgusting. Even my mom, I don't know if she's as repulsed by me but she didn't stop my dad from throwing me out of the house. She just sat there. Silent.

I don't want to have to shoulder everyone's disgust, their disapproval. I didn't mean to. I can't help it.

I didn't choose this.

"It's okay." Wes says again.

I know I need to tell him. Mostly because he's my best friend but also because I need a place to stay.

"My parents kicked me out." I mumble to his chest, too afraid to move.

I don't want to lift my head up and see his face. I don't want to see the familiarity of his house. It feels safer with my eyes closed tight and my head pressed against his chest and his arms around me. I can almost pretend like this isn't real.

"What!? Why?" He's shocked.

My parents love Wes, especially my mom. They have that shared love for the piano. Wes is basically my mom's prodigy only he far surpassed my mom. And my dad and him talk baseball, something I know Wes likes but doesn't love, his dad the only reason he still keeps slight tabs on the game.

I've never gotten into baseball. And I'm not my mother's prodigy even though I play several different instruments.

But I'm not shocked, not really. I knew this was inevitable. I knew once they found out what I really am, they'd be done with me.  I mean they've only voiced their complete disapproval my entire life.

"Brett? Why would they kick you out?" He prompts again and I feel his tic that follows.

I wait until he grows still, trying to focus on the warmth of his arms, the steady beat of his heart, how sturdy he feels, how familiar he is, his home. This won't change anything. It can't. I hope.