Becoming Brett

35. Hiding

His fingers tangle in my hair, drawing me closer to him as our lips meet and our bodies press against one another.

It's tight quarters in the back of my wagon, especially with James' height spread out in the back but it's better than nothing. At least here, tucked away in the deserted gravel parking lot of the nearby park we can be together.

We can be us.

His hips push into mine, his arousal present and a moan slips from my lips and into his mouth, my fingers digging into the muscles in his back.

"Brett." He breathes.

"Hmm?" I hum, leaving his lips for his jaw line.

There's something about the angle of his jaw and the way it meets his neck and how soft his skin is there that draws me to it. It doesn't help that it always gets him going, moaning out my name in his pleasure.

"I don't want to hide anymore." His voice is low, quiet, vulnerable but all it does is spike fear within me.

I pull back, his hands falling from the tangles of my hair, my lips swollen, his red and I can't breath.

"Just hear me out." James says, pushing up onto his elbows.

But I can't seem to put enough distance between us as I shake my head no. There's no way. No one can know.

"Please Brett. At least Savannah. You know she'll be supportive." He tells me. "She could even help us. We wouldn't have to sneak around as much."

His gray eyes are pleading, his hand reaching for me and as much as I want to run I can't. I let him take my hand, his thumb stroking my skin gently.

"Please Brett."

I don't want to be the one to tell him about his sister's crush. That we're essentially in a love triangle and Savannah's going to be the one that gets hurt.

"We can't tell Savannah." I can hear the fear drip from my voice.

I'm terrified to come out. For all the normal reasons but also because I'm certain my parents will kick me out. It's not even a question.

"Sure we can." He rolls to his side, his hand holding mine not loosening it's grip.

My eyes trail his body, his lean frame from playing sports hidden beneath the blue shirt that displays his school pride across his chest. I already know what's hidden under the fabric, smooth skin that covers plains of defined muscles and taught skin that turns golden in the summer and creamy white in the winter.

"Why not?" His face wrinkles in confusion just as my phone goes off, the ringer loud and startling, sending my heart racing again.

"Do you see it?" I ask, eyes darting around trying to locate the device.

It's been lost to the blankets in the back, our sad attempt at making this more comfortable for ourselves.

We both pull at the folds of the blankets, rummaging through the mess until James says "got it, it's Wes."

I swipe my thumb across the screen, the words "fuck off" screaming through my car.

"What's up?" I greet, staring at James who smiles at me.

I love his smile.

"Hey, cocksucker! can you come get, fuck off, me?" His voice is strained and I can practically see the motor tics eating him alive.

If he isn't in a tic fit yet he's close.

"Yeah, where you at?" James leans closer to me, his breath fanning across my neck right before his lips meet my skin and goosebumps erupt out from his point of contact.

"Parking lo-slut-lot behind the ice cream, fuck!" Wes shouts into the phone.

"See you in a few." I tell him, trying to focus on Wes rather then James and his teasing. 

Wes mumbles "thanks" before we hang up. James' palm meets the side of my face, guiding my lips back to his and I kiss him, momentarily distracted at my new task. I don't want to leave this. I don't want to go back to having to pretend that James and I aren't together. That I'm not gay.

James goes to deepen the kiss but it's then that my mind reminds me I need to go get Wes. I push myself away, my hand on his chest, his heart beat against my palm.

"I gotta go get Wes." I tell him even though he reaches to kiss me again.

"Why?"

"I didn't ask but he's in a fit." 

I start to make a move for the hatch of my wagon, pushing it open with my foot when James grabs my hand again.

"What are we going to tell him?" He asks.

I hadn't thought about it and honestly if Wes is in the middle of a fit he's likely not to even notice that James and I are together even though James told everyone he was hanging out with Darren and Peter while Peter was back in town. Or that I said I had some family thing I had to do. But in the off chance I'm wrong, I don't want to try and explain.

"Just hide back here."

A grin spreads across his face, a mischievous look filling his gray eyes. "So we can finish this after?"

I untangle my hand from his and climb out, leaning in the open space of the back of my wagon, my arms stretched out above me as I prepare to close the hatch. And I can't help it, a smirk pulls my face up as I look at James.

I think I might love him.

"If you're lucky." My voice drops lower than usual, giving away the fact that I absolutely want to finish what we started.

But before he can say anything I slam the hatch and climb into the drivers seat. As I close the door I remind James to be quiet and order him to cover himself with the blanket we were cuddling on moments before.

And then I drive the very short distance to the parking lot Wes said he was in.

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Here it is.