True//Billie Eilish//

26

Warning- attempt at suicide.

Billie was coming home tomorrow and I wasn't to happy. Not only was I being talked about online but school wasn't any better. Once half the school was let back in after suspension they all made me there main target.

If I wasn't being pushed I was being called names. If I wasn't being slandered on social media by the popular girls I was having milk dumped on my head. My depression had come back and it was horrible. I was hardly eating or even getting out of bed.

Tyler had stopped hanging out with us because it was either football or me and he chose football. My content on YouTube had become trash as I only posted when I had energy and everyone could see how drained of color I was. Mine and Billie's relationship had taken a rocky turn.

Not only had I stayed in bed but I also stopped talking to anyone. Riley has been trying to get me to talk for a whole month now but I won't. I ignored Billie's calls and whenever she would ask why I would say I'm busy. She then accused me of not loving her and even cheating on her and I didn't answer.

I was sick looking with my hair in a messy bun and bags under my eyes. I had lost a lot of weight and my body became gross to even look at.

"Cmon Liz I'm trying here" Riley says as she sits on the edge of my bed. I keep my back turned to her and stay in my ball position. "You can't stay silent forever" she says and I hug my pillow tighter. "Alright thats it, I'm calling her" she says and I close my eyes.

Riley sighs and gets up, leaving me in an uncomfortable silence. I was stuck thinking horrible thoughts and it made me sick. I run to the bathroom and throw up what I didnt even know I had left in me. I lean against the tub and wipe at my mouth as the burning pain sears down my throat.

I was a fucking wreck. I look at the sink and notice the pack of razors on the counter. I grab one and walk back to my room just as Riley goes into the bathroom. I place it under my pillow and lay on top of it.

"Hand it over" I hear from the doorway and I stay silent. "Elizabeth hand it the fuck over" Riley shouts and I pull the razor out from under my pillow and throw it across the room. "You dont want to do this baby" she says and picks the razor up.

She shoves it in her pocket and sits back and climbs into bed with me. Riley wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her as she strokes my hair. I close my eyes and finally cry after a month of nothing.

"Thats it let it all out" she says and I sob into her shirt. She kisses the top of my head and I keep crying even when nothing comes out except a gag and me running to the bathroom. Riley sits on the tub and rubs my back as nothing but vile comes out my system.

"Lets lay you on the couch and get some food and water in you" Riley says and helps me to the couch. I lay down and she places a blanket on me and heads to the kitchen. I pull my hair into a ponytail and curl back up into a ball.

"Yea I dont know what to do with her, she hasn't talked in a month and she's barely getting out of bed" I hear Riley say to someone over the phone. She looks over at me and back to the stove and I screw my eyes shut. I'm such a fucking burden on everyone. Riley pity's me, Billie hates me and fucking Tyler hates me.

Riley comes back with some soup and a water bottle and hands it to me. I chug the water bottle down to soothe the pain in my throat and stir the soup around. "Eat" Riley demands and I eat some and force it down. I eat about half before Riley feels like she can trust me and goes to the bathroom.

I run and dump the rest out and sit back on the couch with the bowl on the ground. Riley comes back out and smiles as she sees I "ate it all".

"See it wasn't that hard" she says and I lay back down. Riley strokes my hair as she goes through social media and I try to keep my eyes open. "Get some sleep alright" she tells me and I close my eyes and fall asleep.

When I wake up Riley was gone and left a note on the counter. "Your girlfriend is back in town and should be over soon to talk. I had to help Kennedy with some stuff so I'll be back later" I crumble the note up and trudge into my room where I finally decide to shower.

I take a fast one and change into some black ripped jeans and a purple band shirt. I walk back into my room and grab my phone, finally having enough courage to look at Instagram.

Tiffany_bby- what a fucking bitch. She should just kill herself.

Jack_Davids- bet she's fun to sleep with, fucking whore.

Replying to Jack_Davis: Christopher_xx- maybe she needs to be taught a lesson.
623 replies.

I throw my phone across the room and grip at my hair. It was killing me, I didnt want to be here anymore. I head to the bathroom and open the cabinets to find Riley's prescription pills for her soccer injury.

I run and grab my phone, sending Billie, Claudia, finneas, Riley, Kennedy, and even Tyler a goodbye I love you message and shutting my phone off. I pour a handful of pills into my hand and pop them into my mouth. I take a gulp of water from the sink and feel myself become dizzy as the pills enter my body.

"Goodbye" I whisper and fall onto the floor in darkness.