True//Billie Eilish//

28

I was finally released from the hospital earlier so now Billie and I are cuddled up in her bed. She had taken my phone away so I wouldn't be tempted to look through social media and made sure her room was pretty much childproof.

Riley had gone to stay with Kennedy after she didnt want to be at the "scene" anymore. I wouldn't blame her either.

"I love you" Billie says and in response I kiss her nose. "You know I miss your voice" she says and runs her nails across my jawline. I smile and bury my face back into her neck.

"Say something please, anything" Billie begs and I bite my bottom lip. I keep quiet and Billie sighs and kisses the top of my head.

"Its alright baby. I promise you I'm not mad ok" she says and I nod. "Now I'd like to kiss my girlfriend who I haven't seen in so long" Billie says and grips my hips. I wrap my arms around her neck and she leans in.

I bite on her bottom lip and she pulls me closer and kisses me rougher. "Fuck I love when you do that" she mumbles against my lips and I grip the back of her head and pull her back in while giggling. Billie slips her tongue past my lips and I wrap my legs around her waist.

A knock on the door pulls us apart and I groan. "I know baby" Billie says and pecks my lips before getting up. She opens the door and Maggie, Claudia, and finneas are all outside. "What's up" Billie asks and looks over at me. "We need to talk, can we come in" Maggie says and Billie let's them in.

"Um so what's up" Billie asks and pulls me onto her lap so she can rest her chin on my shoulder. "Well we just found out some um news" finneas says and holds Claudia's hand. "Which is" Billie asks and I raise an eyebrow. "You were nominated for six Grammy's" Claudia shouts and a huge smile lays across my face.

"Wait what" Billie says and everyone starts cheering for her. "You guys scared the shit out of me" she says and holds me closer. "Well we were just gonna tell you but that's a little to boring" Maggie says and kisses Billie's head. "Congratulations" she says before kissing my head and walking out.

"Holy fuck" Billie says and I laugh. "When are they" Billie asks and finneas pulls his phone out. "They're a few days after your birthday (which I know they're not but just for the story)" finneas says.

I can feel Billie shaking against me so I bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss it. "Now that mom gone can we talk about the serious matter here" finneas asks and my whole mood shifts.

"Liz you tried to take your life, we need to talk about it" Claudia says and my head drops. "Hey if she doesn't want to then we don't need to" Billie states defensively and I shake my head. I kiss her cheek and turn back to the others. "Why" Claudia asks and I sigh. "Because I'm better dead" I mumble and everyone's eyes widen.

The first words that have left my mouth in a month and I use it on that. "Dont ever fucking say that" Billie says angrily and her grip on my loosens. I pull away and stand up while pacing back and forth.

"You know what they've fucking done and say to me" I shout and pick my phone up that Billie horribly hide. "She's a slut, fuck that bitch let's teach her a lesson, what a dyke, kill yourself you fucking bitch" I read and pocket my phone. "So yea I was hurt from being pushed around and having fucking milk dumped on me at every possible fucking second. From my own friend leaving me because his popularity was more important than me so sorry if I fucking felt sorry for myself and wanted to end it all" I say, raising my voice at the end.

"Liz baby-- I" Billie says and I hold a finger up. "You didnt know because I didn't tell you because no one was suppose to know. I stopped talking to you because I didnt want to involve you in my problems and instead you thought I was cheating on you but I took you back right" I say.

"So yea I did it because I'm depressed and I can't deal with it anymore" I say and drop my arms to my side, defeated. "I can't do this" I say and grab my shoes. I slip them on and take off outside and start my walk back to the apartment.

What did they want to hear that I was experimenting or that I thought they were candy?

I make it back to my apartment and trudge to my room where I grab my skateboard. My phone rings for the hundredth time and I put it on silence and start skating.

The sun starts to set perfectly and I keep humming a song my mom use to sing when I would go through hard shit. I arrive at the skatepark that is empty for once and push myself in. I skate the whole thing until my legs can't physically push anymore and I lay down on the ground with my skateboard by my feet.

I just needed to be alone, not surrounded by Billie, not being yelled at by Riley or babysat by Claudia. I just needed some air to breathe for once and the skatepark gave me that.

"You're pass hours" I hear a voice and look up. Of course the security guard has to invade my shit. "I'm good here" I say and he walks over making me stand up.

"I'm gonna need you to head home before I get the cops to escort you out" he says and I smirk. "Oh yea" I say and pull his hat over his eyes. "You get back here" he shouts and starts chasing me as I laugh and take off running.