True//Billie Eilish//

11

We sit on are skateboards in the parking lot of in and out as we eat are food. "How's that elbow" Riley asks me and I look at the elbow covered with tape and napkins. "Its hurts but thanks for the medical care" I say and Kennedy winks at me.

I crumble the rest of my trash up and dump it in the trash can. "Alright let's head back to the apartment and maybe watch a movie or some shit" Kennedy suggest and we take off on are skateboards. It was a little past four and we had been out doing shit all day. This morning really made me need to clear my head and skating always helped.

"So have you decided what you're gonna do" Riley asks as she unlocks the door. "I'm not sure I mean yea I like her but shes my best friend and I dont want to ruin that shit. I think its better if we stay friends" I say and she rolls her eyes. "But its not what you want" Kennedy adds.

"Ok even if we did date I wouldn't be able to be seen in public with her, are schedules are so fucked up that I would hardly see her and it would be hard. Its a huge fucking risk" I say as I take a seat on the couch.

"I thought you liked taking risk, for crying out loud you've jumped over the roof and nearly just broke your leg" Riley says and I shake my head. "Yea its not the same as choosing if I would rather date a fucking famous singer and risk everything or just stay friends and not risk shit" I say and hold my head in my hands.

"I just need to sleep it off" I say and get up. "Her plane leaves at eight" I hear Riley shout and I shut my door behind her. Plugging my phone in I hop into bed and sigh. This was gonna kill me I swear.

The next morning I wake up and grab my phone. Oh shit it was 7:47. Now was the time to choose, do I want this. Wait what kind of question is that of course I do. Seriously why was I doubting this. I rush to throw on some shorts and a black shirt before doing my makeup and throwing my hair into a ponytail. I tie a flannel around my waist and grab my skateboard before checking my phone. "7:50 fuck" I say and take off.

Driving would be at least five minutes so I take Riley's car keys and hop inside her convertible. I speed past honking cars and traffic for miles before arriving at the airport at 7:56. I jump out and run inside where thousands of people run around.

I spot green hair and shove people out of the way. I see her and finneas heading for the plane and I power through. "Billie" I say and she turns around with a confused face.

I run over and place my hands on my knees while breathing heavily. "Liz" she asks and I take a deep breath in. I cup her face and lean in to which she grips my waist. We pull away for air and she smiles at me. "You can't leave without me saying goodbye" I whisper against her lips and she leans back in and tangles her fingers in my hair while I snake my arms around her waist.

Suddenly the people around us didnt seem to be so loud and the thumping in my chest didnt seem so erratic. The bright lights didnt seem so blinding and the annoying squeaks of suitcases didnt seem so annoying. It was finally perfect for once in my life.

I pull away and Billie grips the collar of my shirt. "You gotta go" I say and she licks her lips. "I can't go I'll cancel it" she says and I chuckle. "Dont do this, just go. I'll be here when you get back alright. Now go rock that world tour and come back as fast as you can alright" I say and hold tears in that well up in my eyes.

Billie let's a few tears of her own fall and buries her face in my neck. "I'll miss you" she sniffles and I hold her tight and sway us. Finneas motions his head and I take a deep breath in. "You gotta go baby" I say and she pulls away. "Promise you'll be here when I get back" she says and holds her pinky up.

I push her pinky down and lean back in before pulling away sadly. "Promise" I say and finneas places a hand on her shoulder.

And so like that I watched her walk away with a sad smile that broke my heart. In a matter of minutes I kissed my first girl and got my first heartbreak ever. Once Billie was out of sight and the plane flew away I spinned the keys on my finger and made my way back to the car.

I sit inside and lean my head against the steering wheel. Half of me was hoping to see her run out with her suitcase behind her and get inside the car with me. Half of me was hoping she'd hold me and kiss me and make my heart not hurt but it wasn't true and it wasn't going to be. Billie would be gone for two months and I wouldn't see her till then. Of course I was upset but I couldn't be mad.

I could only blame myself. What if I never ran away from her, what if I kissed her back would she be in my arms till Thursday instead of leaving Sunday morning. I start my drive back to the apartment and wipe viciously at tears that threaten to leave my eyes.

I arrive back at my apartment and walk in where Riley and Kennedy sit on the couch. "Where were you" Riley shouts and I put my head down and let the tears roll down my face.

"Oh, baby" Riley says and pulls me into her arms. I wrap my arms around her and Kennedy joins in. "What happened" she asks and I sniffle. "I kissed her and told her to go" I cry and they hold me tighter. "She had to go I know that but I just wish it didnt hurt to see her walk away" I cry. "Hey baby its gonna be ok. These two months will fly by faster then you know" Riley says and the mention of two months makes me cry harder.

"Hey look a gay sandwich" Kennedy says and I snicker at that. I knew what she was doing, she was trying to distract me from the hurt that laced my body like poison and I would do anything to stop feeling it.

"Thank you guys" I say and they pull away. "No problem now why dont we set a movie up, make a blanket fort and order way to much postmates" Riley says and we agree. Thats the thing about friends. Not all of them are real but the real friends do whatever it takes to make you smile.

"Well cmon this fort won't build itself" Kennedy says and throws a pillow at me. I giggle and run over, grabbing a blanket.