Several Sides - LAMP Band AU

Turn It Off (Ch. 14)

TW: Cursing, Anger, Implied Crying, Implied Past Relationship, Mention Of Janus, Mention Of Remus, (In Song Lyrics- Skippable) Suicidal Implications

SONG HAS POSSIBLE TRIGGERING CONTENT; PLEASE DON'T LISTEN TO IT IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY BE TRIGGERED, I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE VIDEO SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION

YOU GUYS REALLY DID IT- 1k I- I'M GONNA CRY-

Also, in a desperate attempt at making this over 500 words, I accidentally made it over one thousand words. Oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*~*

The four shuffled into the car, Roman driving, Logan sitting shotgun, and Patton and Virgil in the backseat. Roman passed the aux cord to Logan and turned on the car, waiting for everyone to get settled.

"Just play whatever songs you want." Roman said before putting the car in reverse and starting the long drive- why did we have to pick a spot so far from the apartment? Logan smiled and quietly thanked Roman before plugging in the aux and pressing a few buttons.

Virgil leaned slightly against Patton in the back seat, both of them clearly tired- no, exhausted after performing and having that talk with Thomas. Roman looked back for a moment and smiled at Virgil's slightly dazed look and Patton's droopy eyes.

Suddenly, a quiet beat of drums filled the car. Roman smiled and turned the volume up, listening to the band Logan was so excited about.

It was good. Really good actually. But also just so familiar. Where has he heard this voice? Roman tapped his hand against the wheel and made a turn onto the freeway. Logan was quietly humming along, tapping his hands on his legs and flicking his wrist with the drums.

"Like a Jester at the ball, rub my shoulders with the king's," The singer opened, a quiet instrumental in the background.

"And I was draped in gold and velvet, bathing in applause while I was jumping through the rings."

Virgil smiled a bit and closed his eyes for a moment. It couldn't hurt to rest a second. Patton did the same, leaning his head against the headrest. A few songs in, Roman glanced at Logan and looked back at the road, trying to decide whether or not to ask. Fuck it, why not?

"Hey Logan, who're the band members?" Roman asked, changing lanes. "They just sound really familiar." Logan looked at Roman for a moment before raising an eyebrow.

"I tried it once before, but I didn't get too far,"

"I didn't take you for a dubstep guy Roman," Logan started, imminently confusing Roman, "Their drummer, Remus, did dubstep for a long time before teaming up with Janus." Roman's blood ran cold. No.

"I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart."

"Turn it off."

"And all I was for someone to give a little fuck,"

"What?" Logan asked, picking up his phone from next to him. Roman tightened his grip on the wheel.

"But I waited here forever and nobody even looked up,"

"I said turn it off, did you not understand me the first time?" Roman asked, visibly tense. The two in the back now wide awake and looking between Roman and Logan worriedly. Logan unplugged his phone and plugged in some headphones.

"I tried it once before and I think I-," The music stopped.

"Can I ask why you had a sudden change in heart?" Logan questioned, putting an earbud in. Roman kept his eyes on the road, a silence filling the car; no one dared to touch the radio, not wanting to mess with Roman. He looked about as angry as he felt. He shouldn't feel this angry, it was a long time ago.

"No." Roman said simply, his knuckles now white, contrasting his tan skin. Logan shifted uncomfortably before pressing play on his own music. Virgil moved away from Patton and Patton leaned towards where Roman was sitting.

It was a long 30 minutes back to the apartment.

*~*

Roman slammed open the apartment door, leaving it open for his friends while not so gracefully stomping into the living room. Virgil shuffled in carrying his guitar, Logan following him and Patton closing the door with his foot while carrying Logan's bag and Roman's bass.

"Roman, what's wrong?" Patton asked, putting the luggage on the floor. Roman didn't stop walking. Patton sighed and drifted closer to Roman, putting a hand on his shoulder only to get pushed off. Virgil locked eyes with Logan, now completely sober and worried for their friend.

"You three just- do whatever. I'm going to bed." Roman muttered, taking out his phone and walking into a room.

"But shouldn't we talk about what Thomas-" Virgil got interrupted by Roman.

"We can talk tomorrow okay? I'm tired." Roman slammed his door shut, making Logan flinch slightly before shifting from foot to foot.

Patton let out a long sigh before running a hand through his hair and looking at the other two in the room. Virgil was looking at Roman's door like it was the most interesting thing in the room and Logan was not so subtly turning up his music, the sound almost audible to Virgil who was only a few feet away.

"I'm sorry about that, it happens sometimes. It's nothing big, don't go blaming yourself Logan," Patton assured, taking a step towards the two, "How about we put on a movie and make some frozen pizza bites or something?" He offered. Virgil looked to Logan before turning back to Patton.

"Yeah I'm okay with that." It went quiet.

"Logan?" Patton asked, taking another step forward. Logan looked really zoned out. Virgil slowly moved a hand towards Logan and shook his shoulder lightly, making him jump harshly.

"What? Sorry I was uh- sorry." Logan apologized, snapping back into reality.

"I asked if you wanted to have pizza bites for dinner? I know it's not nutritious but it's what we have." Patton joked, trying to lighten the mood. Logan processed Patton's words slowly before nodding.

"Yes, yes that sounds good." Virgil frowned and carefully grabbed Logan's arm, tugging him over to the couch. Patton watched the two leave go sit on the couch before walking over to the kitchen to start dinner. As soon as he reached the kitchen he put his arms on the countertop and bent over to put his head in his hands. He hated when this happened.

*~*

"Roman! Roman! Take a picture!" Janus called, waving at Roman who turned the camera towards them. Janus smiled and lifted up a handful of sea glass. Roman could he heard chuckling behind the camera, Remus' cackling slightly louder than Roman. A group of kids ran by and threw sand at Janus who laughed and picked up one of them.

"Now, now, you don't just get to treat me like that. Didn't your mom ever teach you to respect your elders?" Janus teased, the small girl in their hands giggling before squirming away.

"Roman! Tell your boyfriend to stop being mean!" One of the boys whined jokingly. Roman's smirk was audible behind the camera.

"Not a chance, now get over here!" The video ended on a warped screen of sand and red swimming trunks.

Roman sniffled a bit. before swiping to the next photo, Remus, Roman, Janus, all at a fair. Roman should've seen it coming, it was pretty obvious it would happen. He swiped again, this time it was only Janus. They were asleep and clearly very peaceful. Remus was better than him, and Janus deserved better. Right?

Roman groaned quietly and put his phone down before putting his hands on his face, rubbing his eyes.

Enough self-pity, it's time for bed. Roman looked at the time, 2:32 AM. Oh yeah, it was far past when he planned to be awake.

*~*

The plot thickens... (And the slow burn continues because god damn it I need to learn how to hurry the fuck up and and make them kiss asgajsgjdk-)

(Requests Open)