the city // joshler

12

mason's point of view

i'm sitting at my desk at work. there's paperwork open in front of me but i can't bring myself to focus on it. i know tyler's been feeling off lately and i don't know how to fix it or what to do. i'm scared. it does comfort me to know he has a friend, but a small part of me worries that's why he's acting strange. i don't want to believe he's cheating on me, and i feel guilty for even thinking it. since when do i not trust him? no. i do trust him. i do.

i run my hands through my hair and over my face. i'm ready to go home but i need to finish this last file. it's hard to focus when i'm worrying about my husband though. i could just call him? no.

i can't think of a reason he'd be acting so strange because the only thing that's different now is his recent getting back in touch with josh. i know they had a summer fling, but we're grown now and surely i can trust josh to understand that tyler is my husband.

okay, okay. work. i need to work.

i rush through the file and pack my stuff up, excited to finally leave. when i get to the door though, shane and gary stop me.

"mason! whats up, man? wanna get drinks with us?" shane waves at me, his black hair styled nicely.

i glance down at my watch. tyler isn't expecting me home for another thirty minutes. i can have one drink... i need it.

"yeah, sure." i pull my phone out of my back pocket and step towards them. "let me text tyler really quick."

mason: hey love, stopping to get a drink with shane and gary. only gonna have one, be home before 10 xxxx

tyler: have fun! leftovers in the fridge when you get home x

"alright, ready?"

they take an uber to the bar but i drive myself and then we pick a booth. while we're there, gary and shane ask me why i'm so stressed.

"boss man on your ass or something, man?" gary asks, his ginger hair tousled and his tie loosened.

"no, no, i'm fine," i answer, shaking my head. i take a sip of my drink and shrug.

"what is it then?" shane pushes.

"just tyler. worried something's wrong with him or with us maybe," i admit, downing the rest of my drink in one go.

"oh shit." gary nudges shane as what i assume is an effort to say, 'fuck off, you should not have asked.' he speaks again, obviously feeling awkward about the emotion surrounding the situation, "sorry, man. do you wanna talk about it?"

i can tell he does not want me to talk about it. we talk about something else instead, chatting for awhile before i decide to leave.

"well, i told ty i'd be home after one drink so i'm gonna head out. thanks for inviting me." i put a bill on the table for my drink and then head out, thoughts swirling in my head.

i sit in my car a moment before starting the drive home. i can't stop thinking about this whole tyler thing, but i'm scared if i say something, he'll take it as me not trusting him. this mental tug-of-war is hurting my head and i think i have to talk to him about it soon or i might explode.

when i get home, i find tyler fell asleep in grace's bed watching a movie. i decide to take a shower before waking him. while i wait for the water to warm, i decide to creep on josh's facebook. i scroll through and unfortunately find nothing incriminating. i really don't want it to be his doing that tyler's acting strange, but i can't shake the gut feeling that it's more than that.

his facebook is actually nice to look at, it's got lots of art and articles about nonprofit museums and wildlife charities and farmers market events and god, maybe he's better than me. he's more attractive than me too i think. tyler is probably drawn to him, the wholesomeness this man seems to radiate. i work in an office eat take-out. my hobbies aren't artistic at all and now i feel like i can't compete with this guy.

i sigh and step into the shower, hurrying to finish and get ready for bed. i return to grace's room after and turn the tv off. i kiss gracie's cheek before walking to tyler's side of the bed and picking him up. i carry him bridal style to our room and he wakes up just as i put him on our bed.

"hmm?" he grumbles sleepily and i bend down to kiss his cheek in answer, pulling the covers over him.

he drifts back off before i can say anything.

i climb into bed next to him, where i'm not sure if i belong anymore.

(an: SCALED AND ICY??? WHO WATCHED THE LIVESTREAM EXPERIENCE WITH ME???)