I Can't Stop

Part 21

Stevie was nervously awaiting Lindsey. She didn't know, how he was going to be around her or what he was going to say to her. However, the show that night went a lot better, he initiated some of their interactions, he complimented her on her performance and that was a lot, compared to how things had been between them lately.

Her heart rate sped up, when Stevie heard the soft knock on the door. A couple of hours had already passed after the show and a part of her thought that Lindsey wasn't going to show up at all. Walking into the hotel room, Lindsey smiled at Stevie and she did too as they went over to take a seat at the foot of the bed. 

"I love you." Lindsey spoke up first, taking Stevie completely by surprise. "No matter what, I will always love you, Steph, and I want you to know that."

"But I hurt you, Lindsey. This isn't an argument over a song, it's not about me playing my music too loud, when our dressing rooms are next to each other. This-"

"You could go on, giving me a hundred more examples, but that still wouldn't change the way I feel about you." Lindsey shrugged, turning to face Stevie. "It's a lot, finding out that you have a child after sixteen years of their life, but... we've already spent so many years being angry with each other and it's just not worth it. I don't know what happened during this tour, but I feel like I have you back and I don't want to lose you again. The old me would have yelled, cursed and probably thrown things, but I'm no longer that man. I'd like to believe that I've changed and I don't care for who I was."

"Linds..." Stevie whispered, her eyes glazed over with tears. "I'm not sure what to say. I feel closer to you than I have in a long long time, too. But..." She trailed off, sniffling as she wiped the tears that escaped. "I can't help but think that you're just saying all of this, while in all honesty, you... you resent me for keeping you and Alice apart for-"

"No." Lindsey shook his head, reaching for her hand, he held it tightly in his. "I mean it, every word. The last thing I feel towards you is resentment. Of course, I got angry, but at the same time, this is my fault too. Chris is right, it takes two and I'm the second half of it. Neither of us was single, yet we couldn't stay away from each other. I got you pregnant and I can't even begin to imagine, what you had to go through, when you found out that you were expecting. I understand, why you didn't tell me. You're a good person and you chose to carry this secret with you, because you didn't want to ruin the lives of other people involved. It wasn't just you and I, there was Don and Kristen, Will... I know you, I know that you didn't have it in you to take me away from my son, because I would have tried my best, I would have done anything to convince you that we should be together." Lindsey didn't know exactly, what was going to happen, when he was approaching Stevie's room, but in that moment, he didn't care. He forgot about wanting to keep his distance, about the boundaries he had set. Letting go of her hand, he cradled her face in his palms, making sure she was looking him in the eyes, maybe she'd believe him then. "Steph, you have always been my biggest dream. I shouldn't be mad at you, because you didn't tell me about Alice. I should be happy that I have a beautiful, smart young woman as my daughter. Who's a lot like her mother." He added with a smile, making Stevie chuckle tearfully. 

Unsure if he was going to pull away or not, Stevie gripped Lindsey's wrists and leaned in to capture his lips. Her fear dissipated, when he responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around her small frame, pulling her in closer. It felt wonderful to be reunited, to taste, touch, feel each other again. 

"I would like nothing more than to tell Alice the truth as well, but I understand that that isn't a possibility." Lindsey said, after some time, once they'd finally let go of each other. "However, I want you to tell me stories. I want you to tell me about the first time Alice took a step, the first time she said a word, her first day at school, about the asshole, who didn't like her back. Everything."

Relief washed over Stevie and she genuinely smiled, holding onto Lindsey as they lay together, his fingers gently combing through her hair. "Fortunately, no boy has broken her heart yet. She's been dating this guy, Jared, for some time now. He's a good kid."

"Well... I'll have to find a way and see it for myself." Lindsey said in all seriousness. 

They grew silent again, comfortable in each other's presence. Maybe things were going to be fine.