I Can't Stop

Part 20

Lindsey slept through his alarm, which almost never happened. He'd been thinking a lot about what Christine said to him, he didn't realize what time it was, when he eventually went to bed after she'd left. In a hurry, Lindsey took a quick shower, put on a clean set of clothes and rushed out of the hotel into the car, awaiting to take him to the venue. On the way to the arena, Lindsey looked through the text messages from Mick, who was clearly worried, before returning one of the missed calls. Apologizing several times, Lindsey promised that he'd be with the rest of the band soon.

"I am so sorry." Lindsey said, walking towards the stage, where Mick, Stevie and John were together, talking among themselves.

"No worries, mate." Mick waved it off. "You're not that late. Besides, it's good to change things up a bit once in a while, we're always waiting for Stevie." He smirked and Stevie rolled her eyes, stepping up to her mic stand, while Lindsey grabbed his guitar.

Lindsey felt like he could finally relax and breathe, once the soundcheck was over. Putting away his instrument, Lindsey followed Stevie with his eyes, who was approached by her assistant. She's probably going back to the hotel, Lindsey thought to himself. Only now he noticed, how she didn't really look like herself. Stevie appeared tired, her eyes were puffy and he wondered if she'd been crying, she even seemed thinner. Lindsey silently cursed himself, was it his doing? 

As Stevie was getting farther away from him, Lindsey was fighting an inner battle with himself. He wanted to call out her name, but at the same time, he thought he should just let her leave. Stevie couldn't undo, what she'd already done, but Christine was right, she also deserved a chance.

"Stevie!" Lindsey did what felt right. 

Stevie wondered for a second, whether it was truly Lindsey calling her name. She hesitated to turn around, until he asked for her to wait up again. Giving Karen a look, Stevie let her assistant know that she needed a minute alone.

"Hey, uh..." Now Lindsey wasn't sure, what it was exactly he wanted to say. "I don't know what to say, I just... are you doing alright?"

Taken aback, Stevie stood quietly for a moment. Shrugging her shoulders, she mumbled out a response. "Fine."

"Are you really?"

"No, Lindsey." She sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "Of course I'm not doing alright. I can't sleep, I barely eat. The thought of you hating me doesn't sit well with me either."

Lindsey didn't expect such an honest answer and he gulped. Scratching the back of his head, he opened his mouth to speak. He chose not to say, what he was going to, instead he shared her honesty. "I don't hate you, Steph. I'm upset, hurt, still a little bit angry, but I think you know that I could never hate you."

"Did you want something from me?" She asked, looking down as she nervously started picking her nails.

"I spoke to Christine last night." Lindsey began. "She said some things, which made me realize that I can't just blindly blame you for everything." Stevie tilted her head up as he continued speaking. "I can't promise you that things are going to be the same as they were soon or ever, but... I really don't enjoy not speaking to you despite how hard I try not to. I get that this isn't easy for you either." Without thinking, Lindsey placed his hand on her waist and drew her slightly closer. "I still get impulsive and I got that way with you, I'm sorry for that."

"I'm sure, I deserved a lot more than that..." Stevie sighed, fighting against the need to touch him as well.

"It's not the time or place to be talking about this, but I am willing to talk to you." Lindsey said, a sudden glimmer of hope appeared in Stevie's eyes. "Tonight, after the show, I'll come see you, okay?"

Stevie wasn't sure if it was real or whether she was dreaming. She smiled a little and nodded her head. "Okay."