Captions On (Kiribaku Fanfic)

~14~ And the String Snaps

Kirishima POV

I am genuinely very very worried for Bakugou. There's definitely a reason as to why he had a panic attack at the first sight of fireworks. He also had another one when he woke up in the hospital. I guess that one is kind of understandable since he didn't seem to remember that he blacked out so he was probably just scared and confused, but there's no obvious reason as to why fireworks are a trigger. I just want to know what's going on so that I can help him! I don't want him to keep panicking every time he hears them!

It's even worse because I know what a panic attack feels like. I've had way too many and they all feel absolutely horrid. It's terrible to even think about, and to think that he gets one every time there's fireworks, especially since we live in america, the one place where fireworks are used almost on a daily basis.

If he would just open up to me, I could help him! Of course, I would never force him to do anything, let alone talk to me about his issues, but it would be better for the both of us. I remember that time when he opened up to me after his audition, and I think it made him feel a lot better afterwards.

I think I'll ask him about it again, but if he doesn't want to talk, I'll leave him be. I just want to see him happy...

It's a good thing that I'm meeting up with him today! I'll just ask him then. But until then, I should really eat something. It's almost noon and I still haven't eaten breakfast!

_Time Skip brought to you by the pop-tart Kirishima had for breakfast at noon_

God, I hope he wants to talk to me and doesn't just immediately shut me out.

Moment of truth, we're just eating now, nothing bad. I'm going to ask him. I'm going to ask him right now. Right. Now. God, why are my hands so sweaty? Okay, it's okay. It's just a simple question. Nothing bad can happen right?

"Hey, so do you want to talk about what happened the other day?" I ask tentatively.

He takes one of his hands and shakes it back and forth with his palm facing the ceiling while making a questioning look, signing the word what.

'I wasn't paying attention and my aids are out, sorry' He adds.

It's like he's lost all of his bark. He just seems kind of hollow right now, or like he's pushing something away.

'Do you want to talk about what happened the other day?' I ask again, only this time signing it.

His face drops and he looks down at his food. He slowly takes the first three fingers of his right hand and touches them together, signing no, all while not looking at me. I think he just doesn't want to burden me with this. I wave my hand to get him to look at me again.

'You know, it's okay to want to talk about it. It doesn't make you less of a person, and it doesn't make you seem weak. I won't think any differently of you, just because you had a panic attack or two.'

His face contorts into some expression that I can't fully understand and then quickly turns into annoyed.

'I'm not weak, and I don't care how you think of me. I don't want to talk about it and that's all there is to it.'

'I can help you, if only you'd let me!'

'Last time I believed that lie, I paid for it. It wasn't pretty. I'm not falling for that again.'

'But I'm not lying! I know you have some kind of trauma, and I can help you!'

I immediately regret saying that. He violently stands up from his seat and slams his hands on the table.

"You think you know me? You think you know what I've gone through? You don't know ANYTHING! Not even my fucking therapist could help me! I'm too broken apparently, too hard to work with, too unwilling to save myself! How on FUCKING EARTH are you any different from them?!"

'Bakugou, I'm not trying to hurt you, I promise! I can help you, if you'd just let me!

"Yeah, and I'm sure the fucking SUICIDE BOMBER wasn't trying to hurt me either, yet he did. He broke my legs, ribs and my FUCKING EARS! I'M DEAF BECAUSE OF HIM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? HE'S THE REASON MY LIFE IS A SHITHOLE! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF HIM! It's all because of... of him." His voice cracks at the end, and tears start to roll down his cheeks. I take a step towards him, but he stares me down and I back away.

"Just, go." He whispers.

'Bakugou...'

"Don't. Just go home Kirishima."

And so I do. I grab my bag and gently close the front door behind me. I take one last look before I exit and see Bakugou in a ball, still in the seat at the dinner table, shaking pretty violently.

I drive home in silence, not bothering to turn on the radio. My mind can't seem to shake what just happened.

Bakugou was a witness to a suicide bombing. Jesus Christ. He's gone through so much more that I could have ever guessed, and he hides it pretty damn well. I don't think it's healthy to mask his own feelings though. Things like that happen when you try.

I need to try and get him to see a therapist as soon as possible. He really needs it.