Recluse Protection

Chapter 9

Having had a tour of the place the night before I was brought to Gear's old room made it easy for me to find my way around in the morning. Since I always wake up early it wasn't all that shocking when my eyes popped open and I couldn't go back to bed. I had wandered through the kitchen looking for something edible for breakfast. Only finding a banana that I could scarf down. I made my way outside perching on a picnic table to watch the sunrise. It's strange to wake up and not have chores to throw myself into.

Sitting down watching the sunrise, is something I don't get to experience often. I'm normally already hard at work, tending to the animals, or fixing something. Work never finishes when I have that much land to work by myself. Being around so many people last night had me on edge and wanting to hurt someone. My fight response was hyperactive, more than ready to enter a brawl to the death. I'm sure that would've made some serious friends. New kid fighting with someone.

No matter how much I look around I can't grasp not being home, not being away from everyone. I opened the letter Bear had written to me. I don't think he understands that him hiding me away wasn't bad. I thank him for it, I know I asked him questions, I asked them all questions. I was young and was curious. I thought I knew what I wanted, I slipped away from the place one night, explored and came across a drug deal going bad. I saw a man get sliced up and I bolted and never asked questions again.

I learned that being there was safe, I was protected and I had my own freedom from the world, I didn't need to think about being found by the men who hurt me. It saved my life and kept me sane. Reading the letter again I can't help but regret not saying thank you to him more, not telling him my gratitude. I should've expressed myself more, told him that he was the father I wished I had. Told him I loved him more. Letting my head hang I have to wipe tears away, I should've said those things to Gears.

Look where that ended up. I've lost them both and I can't turn back to fix it. My eyes trail over the words, reading them, burning them into my mind. Pulling out the letter Gears had written to me, I have to sigh. I don't think I could stand losing someone else close to me. I fold the letters together, looking over my shoulder as I hear the door open. "Forger said I might be able to find you outside." Cobra walks over to the table sitting down on the bench with his back against the table.

"I'm predictable." I give him a shrug knowing that he can't see my action anyway. "What has you up so early?" I remember everything his father ever told me of his son and his wife. I was jealous when I first heard him talk about them. How much emotion, love was in his voice. He adored them, couldn't stop talking about them - ever. Bear always said Cobra could never get up early to save his own ass, always late to school.

"How do you know I don't get up early?" I glance at him seeing him looking at me with a pinched and confused expression. I chuckle, shaking my head before looking back towards the sky.

"Your father never stopped talking about you. He was proud of you, all that you've done." I chuckle shaking my head. "He used to act all annoyed with the fact you slept in all the time, almost always late to school. Then he'd chuckle leaning back in the rocker with his arms folded behind his head. Saying you were just like him when he was your age. Bear loved that you were following in his footsteps." I tuck my wallet away in my back pocket.

"He talked about me?" I hear the question in his voice, the hopeful note. I look at him, raising an eyebrow, doesn't he know his father loved him?

"Oh yeah, all the time. He always talked about you and your mom, the guys. He was so proud, when he was with me all he could do was talk about the shit you'd get into. The cute things your Mama did for him." His eyes widen, before turning to look away from me. More interested in the scenery now.