Virgil's Journal (Sander Sides | Prinxiety)

24

1st August 2020

Today is just one of those says where I want to curl up in bed and cry until I fall unconscious, but the other side of me is saying that'd be stupid.

I don't really have much to write today exept that Roman has been following me almost everywhere but for some reason I didn't mind as much as I should do.

That feeling never fades when i'm around him, it's starting to piss me off in all honesty. Feelings confuse me, it makes me feel like i'm Logan since he's constantly overwhelmed by emotions. I don't like it. Dr Picani didn't help either, he didn't even give me any other advice besides saying to stay close with Princey- I mean, yeah he's helping but still. Why?

I'm I oblivious to something? Why am I feeling so confused about everything lately? Am I sick?

I want all this to stop.

It looks like another panic attack is on its way- and I'm not sure if I want to tell Princey considering he's the one that made me feel like this. Does he know what he's doing to me?

Ah great I got a text from the source of all my problems.

—

Princey👑❤️: You okay, emo?

Me: ye i'm fine what do u want

Okay, I didn't mean to sound that rude..

Princey👑❤️: Thomas is freaking out, looks like a panic attack..

Me: shit
Me: i'll be there in a sec

Princey👑❤️: Okay, thanks Vee

With that I find myself up and sink down to Thomas' room where the whole gang was.

"What the hell have you been doing?" Logan asked in an almost aggressive tone. That caught me off guard.

"I- n-nothing! Just.. get the fuck away from Thomas." I growl, seeing them standing dangerously close to Thomas.
They do as I say, Patton looking worried, Logan looking rather pissed and Prince looking confident. I sit a good distance away from Thomas, trying my best to make sure he was comfortable enough to listen to me. After a few minutes I ask him.

"Can you hear me now?" Thomas nodded to this which washed me in relief.

"Okay, okay that's a good start. Can you inhale for four seconds, hold it for seven and exhale for eight?"

He tried to do it, messing up a couple of times but getting there eventually.

"Okay, your doing so well. Now name 5 things you can see."

"I- uh- y-you, Patton, R-Roman, L-Logan and the f-floor?" He stuttered.

"Awesome. Now four things you can touch."

"M-My jacket, t-the floor, my j-jeans and uh- I don't- I don't know.."

"Just one more thing then we can move to the next one, Thomas. You're doing great."

He gave a weak smile and continued, "T-the wall?"

I just nodded, "Three things you can hear."

"Y-you, the r-radio, my breathing?"

"Good, now two things you can smell."

"P-Patton's baking and Roman c-cologne."

"Okay, last one. What can you taste."

Thomas concentrated, "strawberries from lunch." He said, his stutter now completely gone.

"Impressive." Logan simply said.

"Thanks, Virge. I'd hug you if I could." Thomas spoke with a soft smile, wiping his tears away.

"I'll give him one for you!" Patton said, now hug attacking me.

"Agh!- Don't hug me, i'm scared." I yelped, Roman now joining in on the hug. Logan just stayed where he was but a smile now was on his face.

"Logan go hug them." Thomas demanded.

"But-"

"NO. Hugs!" Thomas ordered once again, Patton now forcing Logan into the group hug.

This was nice. I hated it but at the same time it was nice.

"FamILY!" Patton yelled in glee which earned a snicker from all of us.

At least I don't want to cry anymore.