Dancing Without Music

Chapter Seven

The day after should have been a good day.

Jake should have held my hand in front of Emily Rocks. He should have kissed me all day long. And maybe he would have if it wasn't for, speaking of her satanism, Emily.

Because of Emily, the day after Jake and I made love, he found out about my anorexia.

My eating disorder. The eating disorder that made sure that no matter how skinny I was, I always saw myself as fat. The disorder that made my hair fall and my nails turn blue.

No one knew. People could always guess, but no one other than maybe Josie knew.

But the day after Jake and I made love, everyone in the entire grade knew.

"Jake," said Emily during lunch. "Why are you sitting with Caroline and Josie?"

"They're friends." he answered, chewing hard on his lasagna.

"Oh, really?" she beamed. "Caroline and I are best friends. She tells me everything. Did you know that?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. Watch your mouth, Emily.

"No..." said Jake, frowning.

"But you seem very close as well. So she must tell you an awful lot. Did she mention how much she loves grapes?"

I knew exactly where this was going. Emily had somehow figured out that I had anorexia. Maybe Josie left a paper lying around? Maybe she just noticed that I'm skinny, that I don't eat much.

"She... she did..." he hesitated and gave me a sideways look.

"It's ironic that her favorite fruit is grapes because I've never seen her eat some... or anything, to be sincere. How come you don't eat, Caroline?"

I crumpled my fists. That dickbitchass was going down.

"It's a eating disorder," said Kel Jordan from behind Emily.

"Oh, yes," said Emily, smiling wickedly. "It's anorexia. Isn't it, Caroline? Isn't it?" then she turned to the crowd behind and yelled, "Caroline Samson has anorexia."

"Because she's fat!" laughed another student.

Then, everyone chanted, "eat, eat, eat, eat, eat!" and threw food at me.

I wasn't crying... I was sobbing. I stood awkwardly, the tears blurring my vision. I could barely tell who was who. But I looked at the figure I assumed to be Jake and whispered, "we're over."

Then I ran off, planning to never return.