The Beginning of the End

Chapter 12

A/N
(Warning: self harm & neg. thoughts)

Everyone is always at the mercy of pessimism.

Oikawa knew this. He was plagued with it in junior high. It had consumed him and made him lash out at Tobio-chan. However, he eventually learned to overcome it and it hasn't been a threat since.

But pessimism is always there, lurking in the shadows. Waiting for it's opportunity to strike, and drown it's host in despair.

As Oikawa looked at himself in the mirror, he was consumed once again. Pessimism returned, raking its claws in his heart and filling his lungs with anguish.

I'm sorry Iwa-chan, but I'm starting to feel that hopelessness again.

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It had been a few days since Oikawa, Kuroo, and Bokuto had met. The boys had grown close fast due to their compatible personalities. Bokuto had even spoken a few times.

The fourth day began with distant groans and hesitant light. Sun shine peeked through the window boards, plastering broken patterns of brightness onto the floor.

Kuroo was the first one to fall apart.

He sat on a rickety wooden chair, staring at the wall. Fatigue showed itself through his sunken eyes and slouched figure. His exhaustion prevented him from having full consciousness.

Bokuto was still asleep. Unlike Kuroo, he was immune to nightmares. Dreaming instead of nothingness, a black void.

Oikawa didn't want to disturb Bokuto's rest so he approached Kuroo himself. He wanted to help the black haired boy relax. He wanted Kuroo to alleviate his troubles.

"Sometimes.. just talking about things can help" said Oikawa, settling down beside him.

Kuroo had been putting up a mental fortitude this whole time, trying to be strong despite the world's horror.

But maintaining mental strength took a toll. Kuroo hadn't allowed himself to grieve, instead he would push down the pain. This only fueled the nightmares, preventing him from resting his body and mind.

So Kuroo took a chance on Oikawa and gave in, allowing himself to be vulnerable and open with the boy.

"Bo.. he wasn't always like this... it wasn't supposed to be this way... our lives were supposed to be different, I would've preferred anything but this..."

Kuroo spoke as if in a trance. His surroundings faded out as he lost himself in his afflictions.

"After we realized that those things were attracted to noise, Bo thought it was his fault that they came at us.... I mean, I was fooling around too and being loud, but I calmed down.... he didn't.."

Oikawa had to pay close attention to Kuroo's speech. He was talking so slowly and would often slur his words. It was like the sentences were just spilling out from him without any control or precision.

"Bo was just so thrilled to play against them again, we all were... he was cheering at his team, trying to get them excited.... and that's when they came in... they had been drawn in by his voice..... there was too many, it was chaos, no one could make sense of what was going on...."

Oikawa felt a pang in his heart upon hearing this. Memories he tried to keep down were risen. He began to feel sick and nauseous.

"If it weren't for our pudding head, we wouldn't have survived.. and yet still, only a few of us made it ....Bo's barely spoken since, he doesn't want a repeat of what happened.. I mean hell, we all feel guilty but not as much as him... from his team, only Akaashi and him got out."