|| Haripriya ||

|| Prologue ||

"As we end today's class anyone want to sing something for me?" asked my music teacher whom I called Guru Amma. 

Even through a computer screen, I could see the passion she had for the Carnatic music she wanted to teach us. I constantly try to breathe in the scent of her passion, in hopes that at least some of it could eventually rub off on to me. 

"Haripriya...would you like to do it?" she asked me interrupting my trail of thought. 

"Sure, Guru Amma!" I said before slapping myself mentally across the face. 

Oh hello, are you okay Haripriya? You literally don't know what's happening in this class. You have none of the compositions memorized and you've forgotten how all of them go! With what courage have you said this?

Ignoring the thoughts that arose in my mind, I sucked in a deep breath and let my mouth open, letting out a tune that only my mind had heard of. 

"Govardhana Giridhara Govinda, Gokulabalaka Paramaaananda, Shri Vatsaankita Shri Kaustubha Dhara Paavaka Bhayahara Paahi Mukunda!" I sang trembling as I got to the end. 

Oh what have you done Haripriya, Guru Amma won't be happy now. Instead of choosing a simple song that you have actually learned, you decided to introduce a new one. 

I opened my eyes slowly only to see that Guru Amma was smiling. Not the ones that you see people throw around often, but an actual genuine one! I was beyond just happy, I was on cloud nine! Of course, I had received such smiles previously, but singing and I, we're like oil and water, we don't mix.

"It's okay ma, sing! It's a wonderful composition! " she said cueing me to continue. 

I could feel the temperature in the room shift and it now felt way hotter. Did Amma change the temperature? There weren't 3 more participants in the video call now, only me and my Guru Amma. What a dream for someone who hated singing alone. Having no choice, I let myself continue focusing my attention on the lyrics of the compositions finding my safe haven in the one who I've given myself to before I knew who I was. My Krishna. I focused my mind upon the dark-hued one, letting my voice drift on its own, letting it do as it pleases to satisfy the Lord. As I finished the composition my hands began to tremble. I loved Carnatic music. I had a dying passion to sing, but it wasn't one of my capabilities. 

Having gone to classes since Grade 1, nothing had inspired me to sing more than that one composition and this one moment. It was like a sudden reality check, that I could sing. But I could only sing when it was about him. But I was completely okay with that, with who else's presence than my Muralidhara would I cherish past my last breath. He truly is my lucky charm. 

As I logged off the zoom call and looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that I was smiling like an idiot. I was smiling as if I had seen the most beautiful thing minutes before. I was smiling from within and that was rare, especially for me. But what could I do, he does that to me. I haven't even seen his divine form yet he makes my heart beat faster than it does in Phys-Ed. I wanted to scream to the entire world that he was mine, that I loved him! However, I sit here helpless, hiding my emotions, waiting for some approval from this society. 

"Haripriya, what are you still doing in your room? Come downstairs!" called Amma interrupting me admiring my goofy smile. 

"Coming Amma!" I reply before heading downstairs and staring at a woman who I couldn't seem to recognize. 

"Namaskaram Haripriya," she said in such a sweet-filled voice that I yearned to hear it again and again. Never had I ever seen someone pique my interest more than she who stood in front of me.. She seemed to carry a divine-like aura, something that one could sense from a mile away. But the question was, what is she doing here? 

"N-namaskaram Akka, I'm sorry, have we met before?" I asked curiously. 

"We haven't, but we'll spend a lot of time together soon," she said with a smile, looking over to my mother who nodded positively. 

"Ponnu, you're going to India. I wanted to tell you this earlier but I didn't want to spoil the surprise. This is your cousin, my sister's daughter...you've never been to India, so you've never seen her before. But, she'll be accompanying you! Fun right?" my mother exclaimed smiling brightly. 

Cousin? What cousin? Why have we never talked about this cousin? Why did she choose to come here now? I had a million questions running in my head but by the look my mother gave me after, I decided that I had to wait till I boarded my flight to ask them.